Introverted By My Thoughts [✓]

Self doubt

I sit down here,
Pen on my right,
Book on my left,
And my fingers trembling.
My brain, searching for the right words.
My mind, seeking the perfect mood.
Once again, these voices haunt me.
Lately, they've been talking a lot.
They whisper things to me,
Very hurtful things.
I try to get them to shut up,
But this self doubt's already filling my heart like a flood.
My heartbeat's beginning to race faster,
And these voices, screaming louder.
I press hard against my pen,
Snapping it in two out of frustration.
My clenched fists, banging against the surface of my wooden table.

Why wouldn't they stop yelling?
I yelled at the top of my voice,
as my notepad, soaked it's pages,
From the tears escaping my eyes.

Writing has always been an escape for me;
If I lose this too, then what is really left of me?
It's hard enough watching the castles I built crumble before my eyes.
If I lose this too, what would become of me?
Where do I run for shelter?

The standards I set for myself,
If my arms fall to short to reach,
Do I then become a has-been?
Telling yourself you're the greatest in the mirror,
Becomes hard enough,
When the only person you're lying to, is your very own reflection.
Sometimes, we also need someone reminding us;
That We used to be something;
That We used to be someone.