Introverted By My Thoughts [✓]

Ecstasy

"close your eyes, what do you see?"

I see darkness; it's lonely strides.
Emptiness; the still calmness of my heart.
Pain; the haunting memories that never leave.
Sadness; the agony of a tearing boy, in the dark.
Depression; from all the things my mind wouldn't let got.
Tears; every single drop, I could not shed.
You; the very thought of you, holding together my sanity.

In my heart,
I know poetry is everything.
She binds my thoughts together,
Recollecting each piece,
One after the other.
In my mind,
I've seen dark days.
Memories, that won't leave.
Loneliness, that can't change.
Emptiness, at the depth of my heart.

I talk less now,
and everybody,
wonders why.
Everytime I open my mouth,
I feel my leaking thoughts,
About to leak through my lips.
Sealed in,
afraid that if I swing open,
It would let loose.

They.. can't just know,
My bleeding heart.
They.. can't just know,
My hurting soul.
I refuse,
to show open,
my weakness.
I can't,
just let them feel better,
about themselves,
at my expense.

I'm sorry,
I really am sorry,
But I'm that stingy.
I'm not,
that generous,
to do it.
Forgive me,
I truly apologize.

They CANNOT,
see me hurting!
I'm sorry...
I forbid them from having those rights.
I'm really sorry,
I just can't.

So I say nothing.
Absolutely, nothing.
In the irony,
they couldn't see me say,
everything.
Because they could not,
Understand.
They could not,
Understand.
They could not just understand,
my silence.