(⚠️TW: THIS DOES INCLUDE SUICIDE, MENTIONS OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, MENTIONS OF ALCHOL)
(Not a x reader)
Chase's POV:
Emptiness. That was the thing that plagued me after Stacy took our kids. The only good thing I had left was the egos, but even with that it didn't help stop the intrusive thoughts that danced around my mind.
Tears finally stopped forming as my crying came to a stop, it felt as if my body had no more water for physical tears to shed.
I hauled myself off of the cold,tiled floor of the bathroom and staggered into the hallway. A mirror that hung upon the wall stared back at me, I griminced at the new details to my appearance. Black rings started forming around my eyesockets but my actual eyes were irritated and bloodshot, probably from all the crying.
'What would everyone else think if they saw me like this?' I thought as I managed to heave a throaty chuckle. I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed some pills.
'Hopefully these will stop this seemingly never ending headache' I washed the pills down with a glass of whiskey. Not the smartest move but when you having nothing left to lose you stop caring about these things. They become meaningless.
As I continued to stare at the wall in thought my phone's sudden ringing broke me from it. My eyes widened slightly as I peered at the Caller I.D. It was Stacy. Scrambling, I quickly accepted the call and brung the phone to my ear.
"Hey Stacy-"
"Shut it Chase! I just called to see when I can collect mine and the kids stuff" She shouted her tone clearly laced with annoyance.
"Wait! Where are you going to go?" I asked frantically. She still had our kids with her so I wanted to at least know where she's taking them.
"Well if you must know my new fiancé has offered for us to stay at his rather than my mother's"
Oh.
(TIME SKIP)
Stacy arrived shortly after a collected her's and the kids belongings before taking her leave, but not before slapping me in the face after I begged to see my kids.
Here I was back in the familiar scenery as I sat on my bathroom floor, drinking myself into happiness. My face still stung from the sharp contact of Stacy's hand earlier but the alcohol was starting to numb it and blurr my surroundings.
With the help of the ceramic sink I managed to pull myself up and stumble out the bathroom towards my recording room. I closed the door behind me and set the bottle down on one of the tables that scattered the room.
My gaze was fixated on the two objects that were presented at the back of the room on a table on there own. One was my nerf gun, the one that I used to record my videos and just messed around in general with to amuse my kids but next to that layed the actual gun, the one that was suppose to be for security and the one that I'm not intirely sure how it ended up here. But I didn't care now and I wouldn't later.
Usually I would expect to be filled with fear in this situation, having a gun pressed against your head is a scary situation but not as much when it's your hand holding it. Common sense should have kicked in by now but maybe the alcohol was blocking my cognitive thought or maybe my mind and body finally agree with one another that this is the right choice. The only choice that seemed clear.
All it takes is a quick press of a trigger and death will fall over me, will cleanse me of all my misdemeanours. Death is the only thing that truly wipes the slate clean.
Tears started forming as I glance at the nerf gun and the memories that it holds came flooding back to me but they always seemed to taint. Taint with the bad thoughts. They always found a way to seep in and remind me of how much of a failure I really am.
This is my fault. If I was a better husband, had a better job, listened to people's criticism and changed those annoying aspects of myself then maybe things would be different. Maybe this situation wouldn't be occurring. Maybe Stacy wouldn't be in the arms of another man. If only I had listened.
I'm sorry kids for setting a bad influence. I'm sorry Stacy for not being better, I hope you're happy with your new engagement. But I will always remember all of you and your lives will be better with me erased from them....
I promise.
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(31/12/20)-EDITED
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