That Which Doesn't Kill You, Just Fucks With Your Mind

This Was Everything I Wanted. Almost.

The bus pulled into the venue and we parked next to a burgundy looking one. The band ran off a little too eager and left me alone. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Guys!" I waved my crutches and they murmured, 'oh yeah's and 'we forgot's. I laughed again and they helped me out. We walked away from the bus and Ricky stopped to talk to a band member who walked out of the other bus. I turned around and saw that it was Josh from You Me At Six. I tried to contain my fangirl as he talked to everyone.

"And this is my girlfriend, Blaze. Blaze, this is Josh the singer to You Me At Six." Chris grinned and wrapped his arm around me.

Josh smiled and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you. I love your name." His accent made my heart melt and I shook his hand.

"Hi. And thanks, it's more of a nickname." I mumbled and tried to hide that the fact that I was blushing. I loved his band but I didn't want to ruin everything by being a typical fangirl. Thankfully, he didn't ask more questions and waved for us to follow him. We were greeted by other bands like Miss May I, Vanna, and Yellowcard. Chris became a social butterfly and nearly forgot about me. I tried my best to limp along with him but eventually I gave up. I sat down by the refreshment booth and watched all the bands mingle around.

This was everything I had ever wanted and I was finally doing it. I had an award winning boyfriend, the world's greatest guy friends, and the opportunity of a lifetime. All right in front of me.

I smiled and finally noticed Ricky standing next to me. He took a drag from his cigarette and I stared at it with a hunger greater than I ever had for food. He laughed and handed it to me. I smiled a thank you and let the smoke fill my lungs. Almost instantaneously, my nerves calmed down enough for me to focus.

"When do you guys play?" The smoke left my lips as the words did and I handed the cig back.

He shrugged with the cigarette hanging from his mouth and mumbled, "Probably around 2." I chuckled and poked his cheek.

"Ever thought about quitting?"

"Hell no." He chuckled and I laughed a little too hard. When I regained myself, I sighed and shook my head.

"Me neither." We watched Ghost wave to us and we made our way over. Chris watched Vanna play eagerly and I smiled at how cute he looked drumming his fingers along to the music. He looked so involved, without a care in the world, and a feeling I couldn't explain filled my heart. Ricky bumped me and I looked at him. He pretended to be listening to Vanna but there was a look on his face that I couldn't explain.

Did he bump me intentionally? I thought and furrowed my brow. But why would he do that? I rolled my eyes and met Chris's eyes as he walked over.

"I'm going to do vocal warm ups and make up. Want to come along?" He grinned and I raised an eyebrow. We walked back to the bus and I sat patiently as everyone did their make up. Chris came back out with his killer eyebrows and his tattoos covered in dark paint. He helped me up and he showed me where I would be watching them.

"Right behind the drummer." He pointed and my eyes followed his finger. There was a chair there and I grinned. He kissed my head and walked off for his one minute warning. I made my way over there and my breath caught at the sight of all the fans packed in waiting for Motionless In White. My eyes burned because I thought of the times of when I was in the crowd, the anticipation building as it got closer and closer to the time of my idols running onstage.

When Motionless ran out, the noise from the fans cheering was incredible. I grinned from ear to ear as my boyfriend stood on the riser and raised his arms.

"Are you ready Salt Lake City?!" Chris yelled into the mic and elicited another roaring yell from the crowd. His face lit up and Ricky and Ryan grinned before starting to play 'Devil's Night'.

When they were finished, they led right into 'America'. Half way through Chris drank some water and looked at me. I flashed him a smile and they continued to play. Their last song was 'Hatefuck' and the crowd went all out. The guys ran off stage and Chris helped me up. He kissed me and someone in the crowd screamed. We laughed and I limped away.

We got to the bus and I tried not to fall asleep while waiting for Chris to shower. Today was definitely a long day and I wasn't sure if I could handle more. I glanced at my phone and Claire still hadn't texted me. I had a voicemail from Raven. I opened my phone to listen to it.

"Hey Blaze! Just calling cause I miss you! Also, Claire was in the mall today and didn't even look at me so, I don't know. I hope things get better. Love you babe!"

I smiled and typed a quick message to Raven. Once it sent, my phone chimed with another message. It was Ricky.

"Lunch?"

I typed a yes and stood up. Chris looked at me as he dried his hair with a towel. "I'm getting lunch." He smiled and I limped off the bus. Ricky stood by the fence, smoking. He smiled as I made my way over.

"Can we talk?" My heart skipped a beat and my palms began to sweat. What possibly did he want to talk about?