That Which Doesn't Kill You, Just Fucks With Your Mind

Greasy Cheesy To Shitty Gritty

I opened my eyes to find Ricky's. He watched me intently and smiled. I smiled in return and looked at the ceiling.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Home. I convinced Chris to get some sleep. He's been up for days." He chuckled and messed with the sleeve of this jacket while he stared at the floor. He had a smile on his face and it brought one to mine. I stared at him until he looked up.

"What?" He grinned and I shrugged. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little bit." I pinched my fingers and left a little space. He laughed and handed me a cup.

"Some coffee." I looked at it and then him.

"Double cream and-"

"-and a hint of chocolate. Yes" Ricky finished my sentence and I laughed.

"You remember."

"I do. I always did. Well, you know." Ricky's face saddened a bit and I took ahold of his hand. He intwined our fingers and the nurse walked in. We tore apart and he cleared his throat.

"Um, the doctor will be here soon." She smiled and her sugar sweet voice attempted to play off what she knew. She walked off and I groaned.

"He's not my boyfriend!" I yelled towards the door but I knew she ran off. "She's probably telling her nurse friends. Great." I sighed and covered my eyes. Ricky didn't talk so I peeked at him. His face held a frown and he looked anywhere but at me.

"What?"

"Hm? Nothing." He picked up his phone and started to text. I grabbed it from his hand and held it away from him when he tried to reach for it.

"Tell me." He looked at me and sighed.

"Can we not do this here." He attempted to get his phone again and failed. Finally, he sat down. "I- I want to be your boyfriend again. But I'm not. And I know, Chris. You love him. And yeah, I screwed up."

"Big time." I interrupted and he rolled his eyes.

"It'll take me forever to make it up to you. But will you at least give me the hope of us maybe trying again some day?" He looked at me with pleading eyes and I couldn't face him. I wished I could say yes. I wished I could say no. Why couldn't I ever hold a promise to myself? I told myself I would never let him back in. But he held me together even when he was the reason I was falling apart. I had hoped that one day he would come back and now he is but I wasn't begging for him back. Why couldn't I just make a decision?

"Ricky.. I- I don't know." His face fell and I lifted his chin. "But don't give up."

The chair was pretty close to the bed so our faces weren't far away. His eyes, caked in all his beautiful eyeliner stared into my plain old dead ones. We were like fire and ice. So wrong and totally opposite but so right and alike. It was like we balanced each other out, but if we got too close, things went bad.

Ricky removed my hand from his chin and held it against his face. Time seemed to stop and it was just us two. Him, me, and our past lingered in the air. In a cheesy old way, it was like a invisible montage of our previous relationship was playing on the ceiling and a secret audience somewhere was cooing, "aww"s and "that's so cute"s. I smirked and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"What?" He smiled and I shook my head.

"Cheesy romantic stuff." I twirled my finger next to my head and laughed. There was an awkward silence before he moved closer to me.

"Cheesy romantic stuff like... I don't know, this?" His soft pale lips pressed against mine and I blushed. I blushed more than I ever had in my life. My heart rate monitor started to beep and he pulled away, laughing.

A nurse rushed in and saw my face. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Just uh, I heard some bad news that's all." I glanced at Ricky and he shamefully nodded his head. She seemed to buy it and left the room. I slapped his arm and he laughed.

"We had to play it off!" He raised his hands in defense and the doctor finally arrived.

"Hello Ms Roswell and not Chris but?" He held out his toward Ricky and he shook it.

"Ricky. I'm a friend." Mr. Howe nodded and smiled at me.

"Well, you're doing good and we might be able to release you this weekend. Until then I suggest some sleep. When we release you, you will be prescribed pain medicine and I will go over that with you when it's time. How are you feeling?"

"Better. I can feel my leg and arm and my head still kind of hurts but not so bad."

"Good good. Your stitches will be removed exactly one week from when you're released. Any questions?"

I looked at him and pursed my lips. "Yeah. Ricky and Chris are in a band and they're going on tour next week and I'm suppose to go. Will I be able to do that?"

The doctor frowned and thought. "Well I don't suggest traveling but if you decide to, sleep a lot and avoid any excessive activity. You'll be on crutches so you won't be able to do much anyways." I nodded and he smiled before leaving.

Ricky breathed in long and laughed. "Crutches."

"Shut up." I smiled and grabbed my phone to text Chris. He answered right away and I called him.

"How are you doing?" His voice was filled with worry and I chuckled.

"Good. I'll be out by the end of the week and I can go on tour. With crutches." I added and laughed. He paused before laughing also.

"Lovely. My girlfriend will be tagging along. Or limping along I should say." I scoffed and rolled my eyes. It was quiet before he asked, "Who's with you?"

"Ricky." Chris sighed and I groaned. "It's fine. I promise." I tried to whisper but I knew Ricky heard. He gave me a sad side smile and stood up. I shared my goodbyes with Chris and looked at Ricky.

"Where are you going?"

"I should probably go. Chris will probably come."

"No, no. It's okay. Please stay." He thought before he sat down again. I smiled and held out my arms for a hug. He leaned over me and returned the hug. My smile turned bad once I thought about earlier.

"I cheated on Chris."

"What?" Ricky pulled away and looked at me. My face went cold and I couldn't swallow.

"I kissed you. I cheated on Chris." I let my words sink into Ricky's mind and he slumped into the chair. A tear fell from my eye and I turned over with my back to Ricky.

"I'm sorry..." Ricky whispered.

"Me too." I mumbled.