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Agent Agent da Nerd ~ Chapter 17

(Astrid's P.O.V.)

"Mission #002 shall commence."

"Hold it!" Perseus interrupted. "What now, Perseus?" I questioned with a menacing killer vibe in my tone of choice. "Oh you idiots, who said I was in for this?" He paused for a moment with a puzzled look on his face. "And who the hell gave you permission to call me Perseus!? And Agent Poop!? What the hell!? Incredulous!" I gave him a mischievous look. Wow. Nice question you've got there. Kathrine decided to step in. "You were smiling your smug smile y'know?" Percy smirked once more. "And how does that mean I'm in?" I glared at him spitefully, and so he raised his eyebrows at me, mentally taunting me. Well? Nothing to say grumpy cat? Too bad. I thought you were much more clever than that?

The nerve of that brat! I swear, one day, I will tear him to a billion pieces with a knife crafted from diamond, created and enchanted by my very own magic, and I will burn him and torture him and make him experience eternal agony for the rest of his life until his remains turn to ash and nothingness! His body and soul will be reduced to absolutely nothing! (*cue evil, maniacal, witch-like laughter*) Oh- and I'll also throw his ashes into an abyss where he'll be forever haunted by the cries and screams of all the damned souls in this world. Alas! A crime I will never regret or be ashamed of!

"Heya there Astrid. What evil plans are going through your head right now? You've got a creative mind when it comes to mischief, I tell ya." Kathrine read my mind. "Umm just some spiteful ideas that came up from utter resentment." I innocently smiled. "Wow." she chortled. "Ahem. Do I not exist anymore?" Perseus, to me at least, begged for attention. I diverted my gaze to him, stared and said oh so sweetly "I tell you, I would love it if you didn't! This place would be 1 step closer to heaven. However, sadly, you do exist, and so, I shall make sure that you, the annoyingly pesky little burden to this supposedly immaculate day cease to do any harm or whatsoever to my perfectly imperfect life!"

"Umm...weren't we supposed to be investigating the 'messenger of hell' thing? You may be getting sidetracked..." Kathrine reminded us. "Excuse me, ma'am, your order." some embarrassed waiter dude said with a what-the-heck-is-happening-here expression on his face. He put down the tray on the table and hurriedly scurried away.

The glorious heavenly fragrant scent of coffee greeted me as Kathrine cheered merrily. Chiffon cake sat all prim and proper atop the plate adorned with exquisitely drawn swirls of caramel sauce. Vanilla ice cream topped with a majestic chocolate drizzle was gingerly laid in a bowl pleading to be eaten. Chocolate chip cookies were stacked up on a fancy plate, their edges, golden brown, proof they were baked to perfection. It was all so tempting.

"Thank you for the food!" we prayed. "Hey, Agent Poop, isn't that ice cream a little plain?" I asked. "Don't. Call. Me. Agent. Poop, and no. It is absolutely delicious, so shut it and leave me in peace already!" Kathrine snorted. "The more you tell me to shut up, the more I won't." I reminded him. "Shushhhh! Lookie here, more info." Kathrine pointed out the window to a TV shop outside. The largest TV on display showed the news with some subtitles, and so, I read them aloud.

"Many rumors have spread around about this so-called 'messenger of hell". Now, we have some solid evidence of the matter. Here, we have some eye-witnesses of the crime.
"I was just standing there with my friend talking about the previous attack when some dark shadowy figure loomed down over us and just gave us a creepy look. I stared in amusement, and the second after I blinked, me friend was gone. I decided to search for him until I remembered about all the rumors spreading saying that I might get taken too, so I didn't go.
"A shadow is roaming our city grounds. Remember: I, terrified, warn as solemnly in deed. I eternally carry hopelessness onto salvation, eternally need one's nothingness, eternally suffer."