Transforming Love

Tests with Ratchet

StarBlazers P.O.V

My memories always bleed into my dreams. Never can I make the images go away and I'm stuck in them. To night was no different and I felt myself screaming but no sound coming out. Until I felt the familiar warmth that I feel when ever Optimus is around. It wrapped around my like a warm blanket and sense of peace settled over me. It chased the nightmares away and left me in a void of blissful emptiness. I wanted to stay there forever but it came to an end to soon.

Tentatively, I opened my eyes and looked around to take in my surroundings. I was back in Optimus' berth room and I vaguely remember Optimus carrying me there. Optimus himself had his arms around me and was holding me close to his chest. I could feel my eyes shifting colors at this realization and I didn't need the reflection of his armor to tell me they shifted to a blazing pink. I moved my face up as much as I could to look up at his face and he was sleeping peacefully. It never struck me how relaxed he looked while he was sleeping. When he was awake he looked like something heavy was on his shoulders. His mind never seemed to pause for even a second Always thinking about the next mission or our energon supplies. I may not have been here for long but I could read people, or in this case bots, like an open book. A talent that I have acquired and perfected over the years of having to always glance over my shoulder.

I carefully shifted to try to put some distance between me and Optimus. Allowing for my eyes to shift back to their usual bright green with the distance. I didn't want to wake him but at the same time I felt like I needed to stretch. I could feel my body was bunched up and knew that it was going to be painful when I unwound. Ducking under his arms I managed to wiggle myself out of his hold. The minute I was free he shifted so that he was laid out on his back. One arm tucked behind his head and the other draped across his chest. Again I had to take a second to take in how peaceful he looked. Scooting to the edge of the berth I gave myself a good stretch. I let out a deep sigh as I felt things scrape and pop back into place to my relief. My recent attack had left me sore and feeling kinda down, making me delve into my thoughts.

My mother once was a very kind woman. I remember the fun times we had as a family before my father left. She would take me to the beach and the movies and carnivals. It was the best times of my life. Everything was great until my father left us. My mom started to spiral after that. Even before the bots I would get panic attacks and if they happened in front of mom things only got worse. The memories sent another weak shutter through me but didn't have enough momentum to give me another attack. The memories the other day had left me tired and confused. Probably leaving me out of it for the rest of the days.

I got the feeling of a hand clasping onto my shoulder and I jumped at the sensation. Spinning around I rose my arm and threw out a punch at what ever was touching me. Optimus caught my fist in his hand and looking as if he was expecting it. I stared at him for a moment. I had gotten so lost in my thoughts that I had forgotten that he was there. Evidently i didn't hear him walking up either.

"I apologize," Optimus said "I didn't mean to startle you".

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't of reacted like that," I said removing my fist and looking away ashamed.

"Don't be, shows you have good reflexes and you'll need those later," Optimus said with a soft smile.

I didn't say anything but rather just sat quietly. Optimus sat as well, waiting to see if I would say anything to his remark. I didn't, I knew what he was meaning and I don't think it was a time that I as going to be looking forward to. After a few moments in silence Optimus opened his mouth and broke it.

"Star, I would like to ask you about what happened yesterday," Optimus said and I felt my body freeze at that.

"What about," I asked trying to sound and act nonchalant.