VMIN / INDULGE

19 .

MANIPULATION .

TAEHYUNG .

I feel the curious urge to cry.

But I don't - I won't. I'm not a cryer and I never will be.

I didn't cry when my first male crush didn't reciprocate my feelings, or when he and his friends left me a bloody mess after my confession; I didn't cry when my teachers started to treat me differently; I didn't cry when my friends stopped talking to me and didn't let me get changed in the boys' changing rooms; I didn't cry when my parents stopped me from taking any course I wanted; I didn't cry when my life turned into meaningless flings and alcoholic sex.

Yet, here I am, on the verge of tears just because of him.

Things weren't supposed to be like this: I was supposed to just make him fall for me and then leave, but now the thought of him leaving me makes me so so scared.

But I know that if I allow my emotions to take control, he'll end up with the worst option.

The only way to fight the fear is to abolish it entirely.

"Park Jimin, you're too good for me."

"Huh?"

"I don't want to ruin you."

"Taehyung, what are you talking about?"

The sun causes a dew of glowing radiance to glisten against his nebulous skin; pink flickers of hair falling across his eyes and prompting his dark lashes to flutter as he blinks the strands away. In this light, or indeed any other variation of light, it wouldn't be too farfetched to compare him to an angel.

"You're too nice ... and I'm not nice." I'm not certain of my words, but as they slip from my lips they feel wrong.

"Where's all this coming from ?" He rasps, his voice barely audible despite the quiet.

I hesitantly force a smile on my face, keeping my eyes on him as he softly does the same - although his smile is real.

"I don't know, I just feel weird." I tell him, wrapping my arms around my legs and pulling them close to me, trying to not let myself fall apart.

He smiles empathetically, clearly unsure how to react in this situation and I don't blame him: I think I'm having a breakdown.

"You're just so nice and ... so pure. You're genuine, Jimin, and I'm a mess; I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, I didn't even pass high school; I'm not good at anything and the only thing that I can do well is fuck other people over."

"Taehy-"

"Jimin-"

"Tae. It doesn't matter if your a mess or if you don't see a future for yourself - it doesn't matter to me, at least. You're beautiful to me.." his voice cracks and mutates into a whisper of anxiety, "I know it's kind of weird, but even though we met a month ago, I felt like I've known you my entire life.. and that's beautiful to me."

There's a pause and I focus on the slow hues of breath dispersing from him; I can almost hear him pondering over his words.

"I think- I ... you're part of my life now, Taehyung, no consent needed and it's wrong to picture my future without you... I really like you."

I can't suppress my genuine smile as I observe the sheepish slither of sincerity glossing his features: I have him.

Now I can finally get him out of my head.

"I really like you too, Park Jimin."

//

SERENDIPITY !

JIMIN .

Lips meet my skin and trail down my neck, prompting goosebumps to arise against my limbs.

Fingertips snake down my sides and latch onto skin, pure euphoria dispersing from the pads of his fingers and I'm seeing colour.

Red and pink suffocate my vision, my eyelids falling closed as his lips brush over mine, our bodies intermeshing.

My fingers are in his hair and his fingers are exploring my flesh.

Tugging on his locks, my lips beg for more and the water beside us transcends into static in my mind's eye.

I want to devour him.

I'm on my back and Taehyung is on top of me, my body clinging to his own, not daring to let go.

Deep pools of red scintillate before me and lemongrass infests my nostrils; his lips travelling up and down bare skin, consuming me.

Everything feels good and everything feels right. Nothingness floods me and  a compelling charge of impious rhapsody follows.

He tastes like sacrilegious wine and he lingers on my tongue, causing a craving unlike anything I've ever felt before.

As I drink in every succulent aspect of Kim Taehyung, I experience pure gold and taste it on my palette.

I DON'T WANT IT TO END !

$$$

lol oops, sorry for not updating in like a month, my phone was broken & i hate using wattpad on my laptop idk why.

also a lot of shit happened in my town, like murder.

but i want to talk about that somewhere else because it's so horrific i can scarcely believe it happened a few streets away to a boy that went to my fucking school.
i don't want to be insensitive about it & it's not like i ever even spoke to the kid, but it's just absolutely fucking terrifying that shit like that can happen to a 15 year old boy.

( thank you for 2k btw wow, ya'll are way too nice to me;; this book is so bad)