VMIN / INDULGE

30 .

PHOTOGRAPHIC HONESTY .

TAEHYUNG .

Park Jimin truly is beautiful in every aspect. Be it the trepidatious demeanour he carts around with him or the emotional projection in his dance, everything about him is beautiful.

I like his smile most, that's what I've told myself. The fact that I'm somebody who's been able to bring forth such a smile, almost justifies my actions. For, although there is authenticity in my voice when I say I like him and passion in my lips when I kiss him, I don't see this relationship lasting.

I've never been in a relationship for longer than two weeks and it's not in my nature to be able to settle so easily; I strive for challenge, for difficulty. So, whilst it's been relatively time-consuming making Jimin mine, once the challenge is gone, I always feel joy simmer away with it.

Sure, it's unfair to Jimin to lead him on like this, but the smiles he shows me are enough to leave our relationship as a joyous memory in his mind - and mine, for that matter. And, for now, I'm having so much fun.

All of these thoughts come to me as I look through the pictures of him that I'd transferred onto my laptop; the beautiful edges that make up all of him, making me feel a pang of guilt. I truly did mean what I said, he has made me rethink my interests. And, flicking through the photos, seeing him looking like that, it just makes me think he belongs in a museum; it's like he belongs in an exhibit of his own, an exhibit that shall project beauty in its truest form.

"Oo, who's that?" A voice jolts me out of my thoughts and I realise had been so engrossed in the boy's angles I hadn't noticed Namjoon enter.

I turn to see him smirking, his dark eyes filled with a look that's difficult to decipher, "Jesus, maybe announce yourself first, before kicking me out of my own skin."

"I'm not sure that's the expression, Tae," he chuckles, sliding into the space on the sofa, beside me, "anyway, who is that?"

"That's Jimin." I tell him, moving the screen away from his eyes, feeling strangely possessive over his beauty.

Namjoon seems to notice but doesn't comment, "that's Jimin? Woah, Jin wasn't kidding when he said he was cute."

A scowl tugs at my lips and I find myself resenting how much his comment bothers me, "fuck off, Jimin's mine."

"Oh?" I detest the teasing look that crosses his features, "your's, huh?"

"Oh, shush." Waving a dismissive hand in his face, I return my gaze toward my laptop screen.

Unfortunately, the guy's pretty persistent, "could it by my precious, little TaeTae has finally found somebody worthy of his love?"

Unconsciously, I let a low growl escape my lips, "you spend too much time with Seokjin.. he's just the same as all the others." As the words leave my body, I feel something stir within me, a horrendous feeling of disquietude erupting within me at the realisation he isn't like all the others.

"Oh, really? Sounds to me like somebody's afraid to admit he's got himself attached."

"Pish-posh, you talk too much shit."

"I wouldn't class it as shit, in fact, there's quite a lot of evidence to back up my statement," I sink into the sofa, playfully rolling my eyes: trust Namjoon to turn this into a certified debate, "for example, those pictures, when have you ever established something significant enough to keep pictures of the other?"

"I haven't, but these are just for inspiration," I explain quickly, scared that thinking my words through will make me feel guilty, "I've gotten back into fashion and photography.. Jimin's pretty, he's going to be my model."

"But he's your boyfriend, Tae, you've never ever had a boyfriend before."

"Oh, sure I have."

"Really? Because I've known you since we were kids and never once have you dated anybody. You've had flings, sure, but no one's ever been named an official boyfriend or girlfriend."

"Yeah.. well, that might be true.. but.. but, this is just to keep him around long enough to get these pictures, ok? After I've submitted them to this competition, he'll be of no use to me."

"Taehyung, you may put up this front of pretending to be a playboy asshole, but you've got a big heart and I know you don't mean that."

"Well maybe you don't know me well enough, Namjoon."

"I bet you wish that was true." He smiles despondently, his empathy-glazed eyes trailing across my form.

Uncomfortable, I look back toward my pictures, scrutinising every single detail of his features and taking in every curve of skin, every dip of his edges. Truly, I can't stand the thought of letting him go.

//

are these chapters getting repetitive? yes. but for good reason

also i really need to finish this book lmao. my drafts are flooded with shit i've been working on for months but like i feel like my update schedule is so bad omg