"I'd just like to be yours and I guess I want you to be mine."
"Sweetheart, that's not weird. It's cute."
･ﾟ:* jimin is a sad ballerina, who falls for the lies of taehyung, a mysterious photographer who is nothing but trouble.
( complete )
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TAEHYUNG .
Why does the cold burn ?
Why does the feeling of his skin still linger at my fingertips; the taste of him still reside upon my tongue?
All I feel is patented numbness with an intertwist of cold. I can't be bothered for movement and I'd rather just wallow in my own misfortune, buried underneath layers of blankets on the sofa.
Upon returning from that haven yesterday, I hadn't mustered the energy to even traipse up the stairs. Instead, opting to sink into the plush confinements of my sofa.
This was supposed to make things easier; it would give me a taste of this toxic temptation and allow him formal entrance to the palm of my hand. Then it would be easy to crush him and rid his presence from my mind.
But it's only made things worse.
Now the thought of him being gone, makes me upset - agitated.
And he likes me.
Nobody likes me - not the real me - yet he's fascinated with the prospect of my fragile honesty. I've only myself to blame for this twisted mess.
"Oi, douchebag, I thought you were getting a job?" Seokjin's voice rings through my mind, but I'm so devoid of enthusiasm, I can't even look at him.
"Bah!" I yell out, kicking my legs around in frustration.
"I'm not in the mood to deal with your tantrums, just get up." He informs me bluntly.
"It's not a tantrum! It's a fucking breakdown! Everything's wrong!"
"Oh my- " he mutters something under his breath but I opt not to hear, too lost in self-pity to focus on anything else.
He remains quiet for a long moment before finally giving in, "ngh, what's wrong then?"
"My heart, Jin! My heart is wrong! It's an asshole and doesn't cooperate with my brain."
"Are you drunk?"
"The fuck? No, I'm not drunk, I'm developing feelings!"
"Good lord."
"He won't get out of my bloody head!"
"Stop yelling, jeez." Jin takes a gigantic inhale before setting himself beside me on the sofa, giving me disparaging eyes, "ok, I'm listening."
"I don't know how to get rid of him."
"Get rid of who?"
"Park fucking Jimin."
"Ah." I'm formerly repulsed at the sight of Jin's smile, his body relaxed as he leans back.
"What do you mean 'ah' ?!"
"Are you really that clueless?"
"Care to elaborate?" I grumble vexatiously, suddenly more irritable.
"Jesus, fine, I'll spell it out for you: you. have. a. crush. fucktard."
"Erm.." I glare at him, my innards in the midst of an immense explosion, my head pounding, repeating his words over and over, "that's bullshit."
I don't do crushes, not since high school.
There's no point in wasting my time with assholes who only know how to use and abuse. Who wants to be tied down to a body full of false love and intoxicating hatred?
Crushes are called crushes for a reason: they crush your dreams, your expectations and your heart.
When that guy crushed my heart with a sledgehammer in high school, only alcohol could fill the void; only breaking other people's hearts. Hurting other people with false promises is what brought my heart back together - although now black and cold.
I shan't allow a mere ballerina to make it palpitate how it does whenever he's around.
"I don't do-"
" 'I don't do crushes.' " Jin mimics, "well, Tae, I'm afraid these aren't things we choose."
"But I loath everything about how he's making me feel."
"Oh, bless you." He inhales somewhat patronisingly, "you've been an asshole for so long, you've forgotten what it truly feels like to like somebody."
"Wha- no, shut your dirty mouth, rat! I don't like him, he's making me feel sick-"
He smiles again, getting up to vacate the room, "you're cute, Taehyung."
"Hey, shut the fuck up, I need you!"
"No, Tae, you need to be alone. Just think about your feelings." He's about to leave before adding, "actually think."
And I do.
And, as I do, I come to the conclusion there's nothing I want more than to get rid of that toxic little angel.
Crushes are too dangerous for my sanity.
//
sorry for such a shitty chap & for being so shitty w my update schedule. tbh wattpad is so dead atm, but like i have so many story ideas & gahhh
I was meant to publish this two weeks ago but oops.
