Fixing a Broken Country

I had already fallen apart

Maria's Pov

I paced back and forth in my room.

"Esmeralda I need you to shut up!!"

Why? You know I'm right. Everyone's hurt you, everyone you've gotten close to.

"it doesn't matter!! I'm fine!!"

You know it isn't Maria. You're falling apart!

"I AM NOT!! I'M FINE I'M FINE I'LL SURVIVE!!"

At this rate, you're going to fade away. Just like Holy Roman Empire, just like Native America. You'll be dead like your parents because you couldn't fight back against your people.

"I NEED THEM TO LIVE YOU, IDIOT!! I'M FINE I'M FINE I'M FINE!!" I kept repeating over and over, letting the tears fall as I held my head and rocked back and forth.

You are not. You're just a pawn everyone's used and never helped. Spain got the riches he wanted from you and left you, America got the property he wanted, as well as the money he ever so greedily wants. Can't you see? You're being played by the fucking world! I just remained silent, burying my head in my knees. I was shaking a lot, and I didn't know what I was muttering anymore. I want my Alfie here with me. He abandoned you remember? I want Spain, Romano, Italy. I want someone, anyone. They don't care dear. They're not here with you, they weren't when you had wars every four years. Why would they come now?

"They had their own issues to deal with. Now leave!"

Let me out Mar. I know you want to~!

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!!" I felt contact with something. I looked up to see that I had punched a mirror, my eyes a blue color. I breathed in heavily. I couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror. I turned it around and decided to not look in any mirror. Maybe she'll go away. Maybe she'll give up on me. Like everyone else did. I'm so alone. Why doesn't anyone care about me? I need to calm down before I do something I might regret. I then felt something running down my hand. I looked down to see it bleeding. Oh yeah, I had punched that mirror. Guess I should treat that. I cleaned the wound and wrapped a bandage around it, sighing. I really need to stop punching things. I grabbed my phone, checking for anything. My country was holding elections, so soon I would have a new boss. Someone else to know I exist, to fail to make the damn changes my country needs. "I just want to be stable for once. Is that so much to ask?"

Of course not Maria. After all, you've been through, you deserve to be a stable country. You're better than the rest of them.

"No, I'm not. I can't keep my people from leaving my country, I can't keep my people alive, hell I can't even keep my currency stable!!" I cried, covering my face. "I'm a failure..."

Maria, don't talk like that. I never known anyone to survive more wars than you.

"You're basically me idiot. You don't know a lot."

Well soooorry! I let out a slight chuckle, wiping away tears.

"Eh, you're forgiven...Esme?"

Yeah?

"You'll stay with me...right?"

Till the end of time. I can't exactly go anywhere. I don't have my own body.

"Oh yeah...but thanks it still means a lot to me."

No problem kid. Remember, I'm here for ya. Whenever ya feel like it, let me out and I'll save your ass.

"That might be soon...is that alright? Or do you need more time?"

Maria, I've practically had centuries to prepare. I am fine. Ya remember how to call me out right?

"Yeah I remember, don't worry."

Good

"Best I get some sleep. I got to go to that meeting tomorrow, even though I don't want to. My boss says I have too."

You don't have to go, Maria. Just head back home.

"I don't want to. Anyway, I look at it I'm getting yelled at. Might as well make it here." I sighed and headed off to sleep.  The next morning I woke up with a splitting headache. "Shit...what the hell happened?"

What's wrong with you?

"Not sure Esme. I feel like someone ran me over."

Did you check the news?

"No. good idea though" I checked the news, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. "Nothing."

Weird...ya still going to go to the meeting?

"Of course" I looked over at the time. "Shit, it's getting late. I better hurry." I quickly changed into something decent, fixing my hair and eating a breakfast bar on the way. I walked in, feeling the stares of the people there on me. I don't like how they're staring at me, Esme. I feel like they hate me now.

Tell them to fuck off them! Stand up for yourself Maria!!

I-I can't do that! They'll just have another reason to criticize me... I sat down where I was yesterday, trying to ignore their stares. I shifted uncomfortably, staring at the floor.

Are you really going to take their stares?! What happened to all the times you would fight them?!

That was in the past Esme. Back when I actually thought that my country... that I was worth something... I heard footsteps approaching me. I looked up, to see Germany. My breath hitched a bit. O-oh no...

"Mexico, we need to talk. Do you have a moment?"

"y-yes I d-do" 

you should have said no Maria.

Shut it, Esme, it might be something else, something minimal.

"Come into my hotel room at lunch. We can talk there without being eavesdropped."

"A-alright" I replied and he left. Esme, I'm scared, what if he hurts me or worse?!

Don't worry Mar. I'll protect you if he does anything. Throughout the whole meeting, people kept staring at me. I heard people whispering also, which got me nervous. 

Are they judging me? Do they think that I'm a monster? That I'm worthless?!

Maria relax. Want me to shut them up?

N-no, that'll only make them whisper more. Soon Germany called a lunch break. I was really scared as I headed over to Germany's hotel room. I hope he doesn't hurt me. I knocked on the door, which revealed Germany.

"H-hi D-doitsu" oh great, now he knows I'm scared of him.

"Mexico, please come in and sit down." I nodded, sitting down on a chair.

"i-is everything alright Doitsu?"

"Not...Really. America and I are worried about you. We just want to know what's going on with you."

"I'm fine doitsu really." I started getting more and more nervous.

"You don't have to lie. I can see the paranoia in your face." a-am I really that much of an open book?!

"Oh look at the time I'm sorry doitsu I have to go one of the states is really sick and I left them all alone!" I said really fast, quickly getting up and heading to the door.