Not Looking Back

Chapter 18

Lily's P.O.V.

Mikey drops me off at my house. I thank him for everything because I managed to calm down and forget about Charlie, well at least for the time being. It's good to know that Mikey will always be there for me. I head towards my house, but I am stopped by the sight of an unfamiliar car parked in my driveway. It doesn't look like anything my parents' friends would own; it's too new, fresh out of the dealership I would say. I hear the house door open and look up to see my dad dangling car keys from his hands. It takes me a while to add two and two, but I I figure out that my dad got a new car. He walks up to me.

"Isn't she a beauty?" he asks. I just nod in agreement because I'm too speechless. The car is a 2014 Nissan Sentra. Shiny black is its color. "Too bad it isn't mine," my dad blurts out. What? Is it my mom's then? I doubt it, she rarely goes out to drive. "It's yours Lily. You've been having your license for a while. It's time for a car don't you think?" I start jumping up and down. I have my own car. No more bus, no more asking people for a ride. My dad tosses me the keys and leaves me to dwell with my new car. I open it and sit inside. God it's so beautiful and new. I feel the leather, taking in the smell of new car.

I feel my phone vibrate, and I see that it's Charlie calling me. Around ten at night, what the fuck. I'm sure he wants to know why I didn't meet him at the parking lot after school, but I really don't want to talk to him right now. As a matter of fact, I never want to talk to him again, but I find myself answering the phone.

"Hello."

"Lily how come you didn't come to parking lot after school. I was waiting there like a dumbass for a while. I tried calling you and texting you, but you wouldn't answer me. I want to know that everything's all right. Is it?"

"No actually it isn't," I say anger creeping up in my voice, "I went out with Mikey to go eat and hang out because he was trying to calm me down from the news I heard. He was trying to calm me down so I wouldn't have to personally go up to you and RIP YOUR BALLS OFF MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Lily what are yo-"

"YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH! Those feelings I said I was starting to get for you, WELL THEY'RE GONE NOW! Why would you? Why?

"Okay Lily literal-"

"You have a girlfriend Charlie. That's right I found out. And it wasn't even recent. You've been dating her for like a year or so! So can you please tell me why you would decide to omit this fact from me?"

"Lily look. It's not what it seems like. I don't feel anything for her anymore."

"Ohh yeah? Then it would have been lovely if you would have broken up with her before you came DICKING AROUND WITH ME! Charlie I don't want you to ever talk to me again. Ever. And as for those rides, yeah thanks for them, but I don't need them anymore; I have my own car. Good riddance Charlie Delinger."

I end the call and throw my phone at the floor. Why? Why me? Charlie seemed like the perfect guy, but I guess I was wrong. I have a flashback to the first day Charlie gave me a ride. That present that was in his backseat. That wasn't for his sister or mother, that was for this girlfriend. I feel like I'm such a fool. I'm happy, however, that I rejected him that day, that I wasn't easy to get at. I think of Brandon, the ride I got from him, the way our hands touched, the way I saved my name in his contacts. I wonder what he thought about it. Was it too much? I want to talk to him, but I can't; I don't have his number, and until he texts me, I won't. I get sad at this thought.

Why have I started thinking of Brandon so much lately? When Charlie kissed me, Brandon came to mind. I find myself looking at him every once in a while in AP Chem. I want to talk to him at ten at night. I want to know him better, but he's such a mysterious kid. It's like he's always trying to hide something. I want to get closer to him, but the question is, will he let me?