𝗦𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗛𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀

(6)

waiting for you to look at me meant nothing

it should have meant nothing

nothing more

the eleventh night we met, we weren't both in time. the boy was late by a minute or two. but how could he be late to an unplanned meeting?

"Hey Sanha!"

"Hey Nari..."

as he sat down on the bench, yawning, he laid his head back onto the crystal box that surrounded us, it seemed unreal.

"Are you okay?"

"Tired."

a sudden epiphany made me realize that this is how he must have felt yesterday. while he maybe had a good day, i hadn't, and complained, and worried him.

or maybe i hadn't worried him. maybe i was just worried for him and he was just being polite yesterday.

"Want to talk about it?"

to my surprise, he shook his head, forcing a smile on his face.

"I shouldn't be down. I didn't have a whole bad day. I'm just milking five bad minutes."

i swallowed my pride. how was he this optimistic even when obviously so upset?

"It's okay to be tired, Sanha. It's okay to be upset sometimes."

he turned to me and smiled, as if he was proud of me for remembering his words.

"Awe, miss, are you falling for me?"

i coughed, waving my hand in front of my face, as if to cool down my cheeks.

"Wh-What makes you say that? Can't a girl just learn life advice from a boy?!"

"You are falling for me!"

i sucked on my teeth, placing my hand on his right ear and pushing his head down onto my shoulder.

"Tsk, you can be so... ugh just complain or something."

he giggled onto my shoulder. and i remember that scary feeling he must have felt yesterday. that terrifying feeling. not making any slight movement or he'll move away.

"I feel better just being with you, why should I complain?"

i looked away to my left, my hand covering my face. there it was again, that warm feeling in my stomach teasing at my feelings.

i thought the blushing was because of his words and that it already was bad enough, but then, my right hand felt warm.

"Y-Yah! Why are you holding my hand?!"

i felt bad after asking. his tone seemed so sad. nothing like him. but what did i know? i met him eleven nights ago.

"I'm not good with talking when I feel upset. Holding hands comforts me. Should I let go?"

i shook my head as he started to let go, i squeezed his hand.

"It's okay! You can hold my hand whenever you feel down, okay?"

sanha pulled his head up and we smiled at each other. he opened his mouth to speak,

"I—"

but his phone went off as the bus began to make it's stop. he looked down on his phone, frowning and pouting as he let go of my hand.

i didn't like that. i remember how cold it became as his expression fell.

"I have to go."

he smiled at the sight of my worried expression. he took my hand again and stood up.

"Come on, board the bus silly."