𝗦𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗛𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀

(18)

but it stayed the way it was

and it never became more than it was

more than...

but time did mean something for others, just not me. because my moments with sanha were always slowed down in my head, they were perhaps flying by to him.

sanha hadn't answered many of my calls and only responded to text messages. i hadn't seen him for two weeks after his anxiety attack and our confessions. when we did see each other, it was mostly a normal day of just us. he did keep apologizing for having an anxiety attack and for not seeing me sooner.

but as he said that, we didn't see each other for another two weeks, adding one more to our wait. i had lots of arrangements in far away cities and he... well he never said why he couldn't make time.

today we finally agreed to meet up. the wait had been too much.

i ringed the doorbell to his house. after a little bit, the door was opened but not by sanha. a man, looking in his forties or so smiled.

"Ah you must be miss Han."

"Yes hello, I guess you are mister Yoon?"

"That's me."

we shook hands as i had stepped inside, noticing the tired look on his face. sanha did say he was a hardworking one.

"I was on my way out. Sanha is in his room. Tell him I said to follow code blue."

i bowed and watched him close the door behind him. i made my way up the stairs, hearing a tv's loud volume travel through the left hallway, opposite to the common area's hallway.

i walked towards the open door, looking through as sanha pressed the buttons of the control aggressively. he had his tongue sticking out, eyes glued on the tv.

he then groaned as his character died, his head throwing back onto his bed. it was then when he noticed me. he quickly scrambled to his feet.

"H-Hey Nari! What are you doing here?"

"We agreed to meet today, remember?"

he laughed and walked towards me.

"Yeah, I do! Dad let you in?"

i nodded and grabbed his hands.

"He left, told me to tell you follow code blue. Whatever that means."

sanha's cheeks grew red and he chuckled as he pulled me inside his room.

"D-Don't worry about it. Welcome to my room!"

i looked around his room, not as decorated as i thought. his room didn't scream yoon sanha. it was simple, a few pictures of his family and friends on top of his drawers. on his night stand were three bottles of pills and stuffed animals laid about his bed.

i sat on the edge of his bed and smiled at the pastel pink accent that was noticeable against the navy wallpaper. he quickly sat down next to me and held my hand, gripping onto it slightly hard.

"Everything okay Sanha?"

he shrugged.

"My hyung passed away two weeks ago."

"Jinwoo?"

he nodded. i sadly smiled, wrapping my hands around him. he placed his head inside the crook of my neck, just as he had done when he had his anxiety attack. he wrapped his hands around my lower back and took a deep breath in.

"I'm sorry baby. I know he meant a lot to you."

"It's okay because..."

he pulled away, hands on my waist as he looked into my eyes.

"He no longer feels pain. Now he met my mom in heaven."

i sadly smiled and kissed his forehead.

"I'm proud of you for handling this well. I'm here for you if you need or want anything."

he smiled and kissed me, placing his hand on the back of my neck. his lips didn't move as shyly as our first time and he was much more controlled than any other time.

when he finally pulled away, taking a soft yet still audible breath in, he looked at me in the eyes and smiled.

"I want you to stay with me."