had time stopped i would have told him what i had been meaning to say, but forty days weren't enough days and time never stopped ticking.
i sat at the right end of sanha's common area couch, said boy laid his head on my lap, the rest of his body laying across to the other end of the couch as we watched tv.
his laugh filled the room as he watched one of the main characters have bad luck over losing a rabbit's foot.
i had been over sanha's house twice before. the first we had our first kiss, the second i came over to bring his jacket back and ended up staying for a little longer. and now my third time i realize, how empty this house is each time i'm here.
"Sanha..."
"Yeah, Nari?"
"Where are your brothers and your parents?"
sanha turned his body and looked up at me.
"Why do you ask?"
"Every time I'm over, they aren't here."
he sighed before smiling. he sat up and shut off the tv, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers as he stared at the now black screen.
"My eldest brother moved out two years ago and he lives in Jeju island and my other brother moved out three months ago to go to college over in Busan. And my dad's always working. Good cop he is!"
i gulped as he begged me with his eyes not to ask what i knew would probably not be a good question to ask. but curiosity killed the cat.
yet satisfaction brought it back.
"What about your mom?"
he looked down at our hands. i began caressing circles on his hand with my thumb as sanha smiled, sadly.
"She passed away when I was six."
"I'm sorry."
he shook his head, looking up at me.
"It's okay. She's watching over me in heaven. You remind me a lot of her actually."
"Really?"
his smile grew and i could swear, i felt my heart melting at it. his smile was brighter than the sun, his eyes easing my tension like the clouds that would cover said sun.
"Yeah. She always made me smile. And you make me smile."
i couldn't help myself as i threw myself onto him, hugging him as i giggled.
"Gosh you are so corny."
he fell back onto the couch, taking me down with him. he wrapped his hands around me and sighed.
"Hey Nari, was I your first kiss?"
i chuckled and propped myself up to look at him, seeing a smirk over his face.
"Sorry love, you weren't."
his smirk shrunk to simple, sad smile, his eyes looking down from my eyes to... somewhere.
"That's too bad. You were mine."
my eyes widened.
"A-Are you serious? You had n-never kissed anyone before me?"
his smiled turned from sad to mischievous as he placed his right hand on my face, his left on my right arm.
"Am I that good of a kisser?"
i scoffed as i sat up, disbelief at how full of himself he was at times.
"Ya know, for a kiss virgin, you are pretty cocky."
he sat up as well, face inches from mine. his eyes went from my eyes down to what i could now guess was my lips, then back up at my eyes.
"I caught myself an angel, I deserve to he cocky."
blushing, i wanted to look away but he quickly placed his hands around my face. i remember how his eyes changed from the usual doe-eye look, to a much more mature one.
i placed my hands around his neck, and pecked his lips, wanting it to just be a peck, yet my lips lingered for two more seconds than intended, almost as if i didn't want to let go just yet.
"Where did the innocent Sanha that I first met go?"
"Right here."
he placed his forehead against mine, his hot breath blowing at my lips. i look into his eyes as he looks into mine.
the words, they form in my head, but as they travel to my tongue, i become way too nervous to even speak them.
i look back down as i pull back a bit, realizing my position. i had been straddling sanha the whole time. and now, that i sit back to how we were, he quickly retracts to his own spot, sitting with crossed legs as he cleared his throat. i clear my own throat and turn on the tv.
"Do you... wanna keep watching tv?"
sanha quickly nodded, before gluing his eyes at the tv. i watched as he gulped down. i guess he could feel me looking at him. still as innocent as ever.
"Dork."
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