psycho |c.h| |b.s|

|a.k.|

dear,

curly hair.

what are you going on about?

a boy?

curly hair,

you don't know me

no one does.

there is no boy.

from,

psycho.

¤¤

i feel..

nothing. as usual.

but i also feel something else.

after he left, i don't know.

i felt empty.

but i'm supposed to like feeling empty.

i'm used to it.

why do i hate it so much now?

these notes..

the pain.

it doesn't faze me anymore.

it doesn't make me happy.

nothing does, but pain normally fills that void in me.

but the pains gone.

the void is empty and calling for more.

why can't i give it more?

why can't i give others pain?

what is wrong with me?

¤¤

"arianna, are you okay?" nicole asked me as she entered my room.

i nodded, stuffing my head back in my pillow.

"that's a lie." she sighed.

i lifted my head up, shooting her a glare before groaning and sitting up, grabbing a notebook and marker.

leave me alone.

"no." she laughed, sitting on the bed. "what's up? something happened."

i rolled my eyes.

nothing happened.

she held her hands up in surrender, "okay. you're right, nothing happened,"

but something did happen.

i'm not myself.

this isn't me.

i'm psycho,

not.. this.

what's going on with me?

¤¤

the snow crunched underneath my feet as i shoved my hands in my pockets and kept walking down the white road.

i've been trying to clear my head of all these stupid psycho thoughts, but it's hard.

i keep thinking about asian boy.

curly haired boy.

luke.

my blondie.

the boy that made me happy for so long,

the boy who i fell in love with.

what's happening to me..

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

damn that just happened.