psycho |c.h| |b.s|

|b.s.|

dear curly haired boy,

have you looked outside recently?

--

the pain was unbearable, but that's exactly what she wanted, and i knew that was what she wanted.

she's crazy.

she's insane.

but i love her.

i always have loved her, and even after december 16th comes and goes i will still forever love her.

no one understands,

though i can't blame them when i don't understand at all.

but, i don't even care what other people even have to say anymore.

it's useless to think, it's useless to everything anymore.

i have yet to find a purpose in wanting to live, i have yet found a reason to breath in general.

but i havne't said goodbye to her yet,

and i don't want to, either.

but in my mind, way, deep back in my mind, i know it's best to.

"hey, bradley." the voice of one of my best band mates rang through my ears as i sat there starring at my wall.

"connor." i acknowledged.

"how ya' holdin' up?" he asked, sitting down next to me on my bed.

"terrible."

he sighed, running his figners through his blonde hair, "brad, you need to get over her."

"i can't, connor." i scoffed. "i just can't."

"why not? don't you see how she's tearing everything apart? i read a article about her ex- boyfriend, luke. he's dead, bradley. can you guess who killed him?" he softly shouted, getting angry.

"how can you prove it was her?"

 "bradley, are you serious right now?" he screamed.

i shrugged, "well everyone seems to know their shit before they even know the facts,"

he ran a hand over his face and sighed, shaking his head at me.

"connor, why do you still try with him?" james questioned, standing in my doorway.

connor looked at me and grumbled something along the lines of, "i'm going to find her."

"no, you're not." i shouted, standing up. "leave her out of this!"

"look at what she's doing to you brad." he scoffed.

i gritted my teeth and screamed. "shes not doing anything."

"she is and you know she is! i'm just going to tell her to knock it off, bradley. calm down would you?" he snapped, rolling his eyes.

i searched around until i found a pointy edge of a broken trophy, grasping it in my hands i lunged at connor.

"woah, bradley! man, stop it! get off of him!" james screamed as i stabbed connor multiple times in his chest, causing him to cough up blood and gasp for air.

"tristan, get up here!" james screamed once more, pulling me off of connor.

but it was too late.

connor was gone.

and so was i.

i was losing my mind, all over a girl who doesn't even give a fuck.

or a girl i wish i had never even fucking met.

"bradley, what the fuck did you do?" tristan screamed to me as he ran into the room, looking at connor.

tears were streaming down both of their cheeks as they sat down next to connor, glaring at me.

i hope you're happy, arianna. 

-- 

god damMIT ARIANNA