psycho |c.h| |b.s|

|l.h.|

dear arianna,

i love you.

i love you so much.

why'd you leave me?

why'd you leave?

i thought..

i thought we had something special..

is everything a lie?

was everything a lie?

were you just playing me?

was everything a joke?

was our relationship a joke?

did you ever even love me?

or, love me like i loved you?

cared about me like i cared about you?

arianna, i'd do anything for you.

i still would.

always did.

always have.

always will.

you were the love of my life.

you are the love of my life.

you will forever be the love of my life.

the you i love today

is the same you i loved yesterday 

the same you i'll love tomorrow.

i just..

wish you felt the same..

mwuah x

love,

luke..

-- 

 i threw the been down and placed my head in my hands, groaning loudly, warm salty tears starting to slowly trikle down my cheeks, reaching the corner of my mouth and the tip of my nose.

"luke, are you alright mate?" ashton questioned, walking in.

i quickly composed myself and wiped the few tears, "yeah i'm fine."

"are you sure?"

i nodded and he sighed, nodding slowly. "well.. me and michael were gonna go to that smoothie place, calum doesn't wanna move out of his room and i don't know how you would feel since the last time we went you ran off,"

i sighed, looking up to look out the window. "i guess i'll go."

"great, we'll leave whenever you get ready." he smiled, patting my shoulder before standing up and exiting my bedroom.

as soon as the door shut i felt a weird sense run through me.

the same sense i felt when arianna left me.

why do i care so much?

she's a psycho.

but she is also my past.

the past is supposed to be put behind you.

but, can you put behind someone you once loved?

can you put someone you still do love behind you?

it's not easy.

and it fucking sucks.

--

"that house is still really tall," michael scoffed to ashton as they were both arguing about the size of the building.

the building that the girl i'm still madly in love with lives.

"yeah, but it's not wide, michael." ashton mumbled.

"why must you fight with me on everything i say," michael grumbled, picking up a patch of snow and immaturely throwing it at ashton, causing him to squeal. 

"real mature," i whispered, still starring at the building as the door opened.

my heart started beating faster and my breath stopped as she stood there no jacket, just a nirvana t-shirt.

my nirvana t-shirt. 

it all happened quickly.

from her curls bouncing as she ran,

to the slight snow fall,

(btw idk im listening to bittersweet memories while writing this so you should listen to it while reading this bc it fits idk) 

to the feeling of her warm lips on me and her arms around my neck, as mine found their way to her waist.

she grabbed my face, making the kiss deeper.

"what the fuck is happening," michael mumbled.

she pulled away and starred at me with her big beautiful blue eyes before biting my lip and kissing me once more.

once the front door re-opened she completely pulled away and slipped a note in my hand just as turned around to run away.

she didn't look back once until the door closed.

ashton and michael looked at me but i ignored their stares and opened the note.

i still love you luke robert hemmings. always have. always will. tomorrow is our forever and forever is what we'll seek. i love you so much.

- arianna xo 

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well fuck