Safe Place ~ WayHaught

Don't Cry I Know, You're Trying Your Hardest

"Katie, don't cry I know,
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is
Letting go
Of the nights we shared.
Ocala is calling
And I know it's haunting,
But. . ."

~Miserable at Best , Mayday Parade

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This chapter is inspired by Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade. Listen to the song before reading or while reading.

XoXo

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~Nicole POV~

I miss Riverdale. I miss it like someone cut a hole in me, but I know that I can never go back there. I loved it in that town, Riverdale was more of a home to me than Purgatory ever has been. I was still the new kid in town when we faked our deaths, I had been there for less than a year. Now, I'm back in Purgatory and I'm the new kid all over again, only this time, I'm the new kid who escaped from a psychopath and ran away.

And all before my highschool graduation.

Waverly hadn't had the chance to tell people that we're a couple before everything happened. She promised that she would, but I don't think she remembers. When we got back, things immediately became secretive again. She doesn't hold my hand in public or talk to me in between classes. I don't think she's doing it on purpose, but she's definitely scared of something. It's understandable, to an extent, but I'm out to people and they're all supportive. I came out because I want to be with Waverly in public. I want people to know that she's mine and I'm hers. But she doesn't.

I'm trying so hard to respect her feelings. I remember the day she came out to me, I could tell she was nervous, but she was brave because she knew she could trust me. You're a lesbian not a unicorn, right? The comment made me confused at first, I kind of thought she was making fun of me, but then she explained what she meant. That she wished people wouldn't make such a big deal over people coming out. How almost everyone treated LGBT people like they were different. I know that's why she wants to stay quiet about us, she doesn't want to be treated differently.

Things were almost perfect in Riverdale. Everyone knew we're together and they didn't care in a way that was different from anyone else. They were just happy that we were happy. I feel like everything would be okay if we had just never left. But now, we're fighting again. I tried to talk to her about how it feels when she avoids me in school. Of course, it turned out just like it did two weeks before we "died." I can feel her unhappiness radiating off of her from a mile away. And she's mad at me for not being understanding.

She's coming over to talk to me today, maybe try to work things out, but if she keeps acting like this I'm going to have to break up with her because, as much as I love her, this isn't just her not wanting to come out. I would be okay if that's all it was, but it's not. She's treating me like I don't exist unless nobody can see us. She's ignoring me when I try to talk to her in the halls at school. She's going out with her friends when she knows we have plans. She's putting her social standing above how she's making me feel and it's making me feel like an unworthy piece of shit.

And Champ. I've stopped pretending like she's really alone when she says she needs space. I know she's with him. She laughing with him and he's looking at her like only I'm supposed to look at her. They're walking to class together and passing notes. He even asked her to prom. . . And she said yes.

She tells me she loves me, that he doesn't really matter to her, but how am I supposed to believe a word she says when half the time she's lying about being with him in the first place?

Knock knock.

"Nicole?" Waverly's voice calls from the hall and I'm honestly surprised she remembered to show up. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," I wipe my tears away and clean the ruined mascara from my eyes. "Door's open."

She walks in and sits down beside me on my bed.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I was working on this project for English and the time just ran away from me." I scoff at her explanation. "What?"

"Cut the crap, Waverly!" And she knows exactly what I mean.

"Yeah. Okay, fine!" She nearly yells, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I lied. I was with Champ. We were working on posters for our prom king and queen campaign."

"I knew it. You are always with him!" I can't stop my anger. "Even when you're supposed to be with me."

She doesn't respond, so I continue.

"You never talk to me at school, you're always late for our dates, which are always movie nights at your house, you constantly lie to me about where you are, and you don't even look me in the eyes anymore. You say you still love me, but God! Waverly, this isn't how you treat someone you love!"

"I'm sorry." That's all she has to say for herself.

I think for a long time. I'm pacing the room, trying to regain some of my dignity. Waverly is almost in tears, but I honestly feel kind of glad that what I'm saying is actually having an effect on her. I've made up my mind. I can't stay in a relationship where I'm constantly feeling like I don't matter. I can't pretend like everything is fine, like it isn't killing me that no matter how many times she says she loves me, I will always second guess her. I know that I'll be miserable without her, but right now, I'm miserable with her.

"I can't be with you anymore. I'm sorry, Waverly. I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone else, but you don't love me anymore. You have no respect for me. I wish things were different, maybe one day they will be, but we're done."

Hello, ice cream and Taylor Swift. Also, emo music, lots of emo music.

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Hey!! I'm sorry for the late update! Also sorry if this chapter is giving people heart attacks haha

I don't want their relationship to seem like it never has any problems or issues because that would be super unrealistic. Also, cliffhangers keep people interested oof

I love you my beautiful little Cheetahs!!

~Jordan