boyf riends one - shots!

this isn't sad neither happy (old fic)

(warning: mention of suicide, self harm.)

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(MICHAELS POV)

I opened up Jeremys front door, closing it quietly. I came here to talk to Jeremy about what has been happening ever since he took that god damn SQUIP, despite this apparent computer doing this thing called optic-nerve-blocking on me and it makes it so Jeremy cannot see me nor hear me, I have cut myself many, many times during this incident. Especially at the party, I walked up the stairs, leading up to Jeremys room. I opened the door quietly to see Jeremy, studying at his desk peacefully. But he didn't see me. I rolled my eyes and spoke out loud;

"SQUIP, I need to talk to Jeremy. Please, just let him see me once more." I pleaded, a few moments later Jeremy turned over and his eyes widened, I suppose he could see me.

"Michael! Why-" I rolled up my sleeve, to reveal cut marks and burnt skin. He gasped and looked up at me, like he didn't even know what happened.

"You left me at that party, Jeremy."

"Michael I'm sor-"

"No! Jeremy! You don't fucking get it! A simple sorry cannot fix what I've been going through for these couple of weeks! I've had so many fucking suicidal thoughts, and all you care about is being cool! 12 years of friendship, and this stupid pill comes a ruins it all! Always gonna be a team my ass." I muttered the last part, I rolled down my sleeves and crossed my arms. He began to tear up, deep down inside of me was begging for me to hug him and say sorry for what I just said, but I was too pissed and pushed away those thoughts. He stayed quiet and looked at the ground.

"Huh, you really don't care do you?"

"Michael I-I do-"

"Then say it."

"W-Wha-"

"Say that I'm your best friend, and you truly are sorry." I snapped, he let out sounds like he was trying to speak, but something wasn't letting him. I cocked my eyebrow up and began to worry a bit, I rolled my backpack from my back, to the front of me on my chest. I took out a bottle of Mountain Dew Red, and opened it. I knew that MDR (Mountain Dew Red) had an affect on the SQUIP. MDR shuts it off, and just plain Mountain Dew turned it on. I flicked the cap off and threw my backpack on the ground. Jeremy looked up at me, and his eyes darted to the MDR.

"M-Mountain Dew Red.."

"Yea, you want it?" I said, shaking the bottle a bit.

"Y-Yes! Please-"

"Say sorry, Jeremy." I hid the MDR behind my back. He went silent,

"I said say sorry."

"S-" Something cut him off, his mouth looked like he was saying sorry but nothing was coming out.

"What? SQUIP got your tongue?" I grumbled, he looked up at me. He was crying, I began to worry even more but held myself back. 

"I'M SORRY!"Jeremy blurted out, before he fell to the ground in tears. He looked like he was in pain, I quickly rushed to his side. I couldn't stand seeing Jeremy like this, I tried to calm him and then he began to swat at me. Still crying,

"What the fuck are you doing?! I'm trying to-"

"It's the SQUIP, Michael! Please, help!" He said, still swatting at me. I quickly pinned him down, straddling him with the MDR in my hand. He struggled but then I poured the red liquid in his mouth, he swallowed and froze. I was still on top of him, he began to cry and shriek in pain. He sat up and hugged me tightly, pulling me into a warm embrace. I hugged back as he cried into my red hoodie. I was crying too, but a little less then him. We sat there for a solid 15 minutes, until Jeremy calmed down. I felt him relax in my arms, I hiccuped from crying. 

"I'm so, so, so, sorry Michael, This is all my fault-"

"Is he gone?"

"Yes! Michael, you made him go away. I treated you so badly and I'm so, so, so, sorry-"

"Jeremy, It's okay. Everything is okay now, he's gone. I forgive you."

"No! sniffle you can't just forgive me like that!" He said, sitting up. I smiled at him with tears in my eyes and cupped his cheek, wiping the tears falling from his eyes away with my thumb. He held the sleeves of my hoodie tightly with his hands and cried. I hugged him again, shushing him and whispering it's okay in his ear. I picked him up off the floor and sat us both on the bed. My back was faced towards the pillows, and Jeremy was facing the front of me. He quickly tackled me onto the bed so I was laying down, but my head was supported by the pillows. He grabbed my hoodie and pulled me into tender kiss. I widened my eyes, he still had tears falling from his cheeks but his eyes were closed and he looked at peace. I felt us both smile in the kiss as I melted into it, and held the back of his neck with my hand. The other supporting my weight and lifting me up. We pulled away and stared into each others eyes.

"Michael, I'm so sorry. I love you." Jeremy sniffled, I giggled and smiled.

I smirked, raising my eyebrow and leaning in so me and Jeremys noses and foreheads were touching. He giggled and pulled me into another kiss. Us both smiling uncontrollably. 

"I love you too, and that was enough for me to forgive you." 

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