boyf riends one - shots!

I KNOW IT'S LIKE 5AM BUT HEAR ME OUT

michael using pickup lines on jeremy take 1

michael: would you rather eat a pound of bricks or amatter baby?
jeremy: w,,what's a matter baby?
michael, winking: nothing baby what's the matter with you—
jeremy: *hits him*
michael: *chOKES on crystal pepsi*

michael: u go to church often? cause you're gonna be on your knees tonight
jeremy: fFFFFUCK YOU IM jEWISH

michael: u should run a hot dog stand
jeremy: u better not—
michael: cause you know how to make my wiener stand
jeremy: GET THE FUck out of my hOUSE

michael: hey i like ur pants
jeremy: th,,thanks?
michael: but they'd look even better on my bedroom floor—
jeremy: MICHAEL FUcking mELL
( more like michael fucking jeremy amirite )

michael: do u like sales? because clothing is 100% off at my place
jeremy: i HATE you

michael: hey you know climate change is gonna pull us all underwater so i might as well get you wet now
jeremy: ill just skip to the death part thanks

michael: there's 20 letters in the alphabet right?
jeremy: no there's 26 you dumbass
michael: oh i forgot u r a q t
jeremy: ,,,t,,that's 25—
michael: you'll get the d later
jeremy: yoU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE

michael: i would treat you like my homework
jeremy; i swear to fucking god—
michael: i'd slam you on my table and do you all night
jeremy: *visible bisexual distress and concern*

,,and scene