boyf riends one - shots!

loner. (old fic)

angst because we all love angst

(this takes place during the squip incident, after the song "upgrade")

and sabrina & jasmine are michaels moms that i made up names for. it didn't exactly say their canon names, so,,,,

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(MICHAELS POV)

I trudged into my house, my hood up as my eyes kept on the hardwood floor, refusing to look up. I kicked off my shoes and heard someone walking towards me. "Michael! How was your day, sweetie?" Sabrina rested her hands on my shoulders, god, if she seen me like this she would be miserable and stress out on how to make me feel better. I faked a smile and looked up at her caring expression. "Great." Terrible. She grinned and kissed my forehead. 

"I'll be out for a few, 'kay? Dinner is in the fridge. I made your favourite, adobo." She said, holding my hands. I kept the smile on my face and nodded, she kissed my forehead once again and walked out the door, shutting it quietly. The smile instantly faded from my face into a broken, miserable look. You have no idea how much I hated today, hated myself, hated everything. I walked up the stairs, hearing the stairs creak from under me from them being so old. I sauntered into my room and threw my backpack onto the floor. I flopped down onto my bed and tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to fall. 

If you're questioning why I'm sad, here's what happened:

I trudged around the hall corner, humming a Bob Marley song to myself. God, Jeremy has been ignoring me all day. Maybe he's just having a bad day? No, he would come talk to me if something happened. A familiar slim figure walked around the opposite corner, wearing an Eminem t-shirt and a grey sweater that hung loosely around him.. Jeremy? He met my eyes, and a perplexed look fell onto his face.

"Michael? Where have you been all day?" He asked, I scoffed and crossed my arms. "Really? So you're not the one who's been avoiding me?" I stated, he stared blankly at me for a couple of seconds. It seemed like.. he was thinking. Hard. A concerned look then spread throughout his face, looking at my shoes. I waited for his response, glaring at him. Why the fuck is he just standing there?

"Seriously, what's up with you?" I broke in, he looked back up at me. "You've been acting shady ever since-- since.." I trailed off, wait a minute. Holy shit, holy fucking shit! "It worked, didn't it?" I said quietly, he nodded slowly. "Jeremy, that's amazing!" I grabbed his shoulders, a bright smile on my face. "W-We gotta test it out! No, We gotta celebrate! We gotta-- get stoned in my basement!" I exclaimed, he looked down shamelessly and rubbed his arm. He backed away from my reach and looked out the window, my smile broke into a confused face. 

I looked out the window to see Brooke, sitting by a tree. She noticed Jeremy, smiled, waved, and started to walk towards the school entrance. What? Jeremy never talked to Brooke. Jeremy let out a sigh, mumbling to himself. "Jeremy? Are you coming?" I said in a concerned voice, a fake smile on my face, trying to seem considerate. As Brooke walked into the entrance Jeremy said in a low, growly voice--

"Optic nerve blocking on." 

I raised my eyebrow and tried to reach for his hand, but instead, he walked away towards Brooke who was leaning against the door. A broken frown fell onto my face as he grabbed her hand and they started to talk, Jeremy smiled brightly as some blush crept up on his pale face.

That same smile that he used to make when he talked to me.

I laid on my stomach on my bed, burying my head into a pillow. I sniffled, and I gave up trying to hold back the tears that have been trying to get out for oh so long. Tears started to flood my cheeks, as I clutched the pillow closer to my face and my body curled up into a ball. My glasses laid awkwardly on my face, but I was crying too much that I couldn't give two fucks. I bawled into the pillow, cursing under my breath and letting out hitches of sighs. But only a very certain four words ran throughout my mind, over, and over, and over..

Optic nerve blocking on. 

Why did I help Jeremy get the Squip? Why is he doing this to me? What did I do so wrong to the point where he has to ignore me? So many questions filled my mind, causing me to cry harder. I got a notification on my phone, causing it to vibrate. I picked up my phone, it was only a reminder for homework, but then I noticed my lock screen. A picture of me and Jeremy, us both smiling and playing AOTD. I sniffled and opened my phone, going into the camera app. I scrolled through the many photos of me and Jeremy, hugging, smiling, getting high, at a cafe together, and especially, the one my mothers took when it was my birthday and Jeremy was the only one who came and got the all-so-famous Apocalypse of the Damned for me. 

I let out a loud cry, throwing my phone across the room and tossing and turning into my bed. "I wish I was never fucking born!" I cried, sitting up and hugging a pillow tightly. I buried my head into the pillow, my only best friend, for a whole 12 fucking years.

Wasted.

Gone.

"M-Maybe he was j-just having a bad day, huh?" I stuttered, rocking back and forth, hugging both my knees and a pillow. "M-Maybe this i-is all a bad dream, and I'll wake up, a-and me and J-Jeremy will get high together, r-right?" I asked myself, all the things I was telling myself were lies. My best friend, that I was also developing feelings for, left me. Forever. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes, trying to wipe away all the tears that just kept on flooding my face and eyes.  I was having an anxiety attack, an extreme one, too. I was clutching at my hair and rocking back and forth, whispering curses under my breath. 

"T-Thanks a fucking lot, Jeremy."

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hi hey

this was bad but yano

i tried