Meredith's Thoughts Volume 3

accept

The truth gets narrowed down to something simple;
My world moves on with or without him.
My choice would easily be with him, but I know his is not. And I have to just accept that. Yeah it's going to take me awhile to get over it, that's expected. But I don't want to drag on this sadness in holding on when I know the answer one hundred percent. I can't make being sad my safe zone, I can't become most comfortable in the darkness of my mind, it can't be my internal theme. I have to move on eventually, and I think that's happening. I think that at this point it's just all a weird feeling, sometimes my mind feels confused in a way because I can't text him about stuff. But at other times I feel as if talking to him would feel totally strange. He's been different for awhile, so maybe I haven't really talked to him since earlier September as I knew him. I understand people change, and I have to accept that also, I think school and people just changed him. He's an independent guy, he doesn't necessarily ever ask for much help. Accepting things is a difficult thing for me to do, but I promise you it comes around eventually. Milo always says; "sometimes you just have to take the L and suck it up". At right now, that's what's gotta happen. Even though I lost him, I'm the true loss, and I'm usually not narcissistic in way often.

Life moves on with or without him,
The world spins like it always has.
And I sit in the darkness,
I just need a little time.
Moving on won't be easy,
But with the strength I've gained,
Over these past years,
I'll make it.
Meredith you know you are going to make it, it is going to be ok and you should know that.