Saving You Tonight

Harry Styles, Alcohol, and a Club

Here's a longer chapter :)

The next few days passed pretty slowly, I didn’t really talk much and Harry avoided me as much as possible.  I knew it was probably time to tell him because he had even started ignoring the boys as well.

The rest of the boys were out at the studio, Harry wasn’t needed right now so he stayed at the hotel locked in his room.  I approached his room and knocked; “go away” he yelled.

I started to walk away but I decided I needed to face the music and just get this over with, “I am ready to talk” I whispered.

I didn’t think he could have even heard but he came and opened the door, “What do you want” he said coldly.

“Harry I want to tell you but I am scared of what you will think.  I don’t want you to hate me” I said as I felt the tears threaten to come.

“I don’t understand; why would I hate you?” he asked lightening up.

“Because I am stupid and worthless” I cried.  I wasn’t trying to be dramatic that’s how I really felt.  No one cared about me and over the years I made myself believe that was why.

“Woah, what are you talking about” he asked stepping closer to me, but I didn’t let him comfort me this time.

“You want to know why I act like a crazy psycho with the mood swings and why I am so distant” I screamed.

“Yes, I don’t understand.  What is going on?” he asked.

“Harry I was raped, Jason didn’t just hit me he took advantage of me.  I was saving myself until marriage but he took that away from me.  He took everything away from me, I have nothing!  My parents didn’t want me so they just left, then Jason, and then finally you want to know the worst part” I yelled.

I didn’t give him time to respond, “It wasn’t that my first time, wasn’t something I wanted.  No he got me pregnant, I wasn’t happy but I thought finally someone will love me unconditionally.  But I’m not allowed to be happy right, the baby died because of Jason’s constant abuse.” I was hysterical now and Harry just looked at me.  He had no words, I know he wasn’t expecting that but he wanted the truth it wasn’t my fault if he couldn’t handle it.

“Emma…I-” he started to say but didn’t finish.  Instead he closed the distance between us and wrapped me into his strong arms.

“I am so sorry I was such a jerk, I had no idea” he said softly in my ear.

He let me cry into his shoulder for a while but then he pulled away and held my shoulders looking into my eyes. I shyly looked up into his eyes as well; he began to lean in like he was going to kiss me.

Normally I would have pushed him away but I couldn’t even think straight now.  Soon his lips came crashing down on mine, and he kissed me.  Almost as soon as the kiss started he pulled away.

“I’m sorry… I…uh didn’t mean to.  I was just caught up in the moment” he said awkwardly.

I stood frozen, he didn’t just kiss me…but he did.  This was too confusing; I didn’t know what to do now.

“What the bloody hell was I thinking?  I just wanted to show you I don’t hate you” he rambled on.

“Um… I should go” I said before turning to leave his room.

“No wait” he said catching my arm.  “I don’t want things to be weird between us, did I just screw that up” he asked worriedly.

“I don’t know Harry; to be honest I can’t even think about another guy like that right now.  I really just need some friends” I explained honestly.