Phan oneshots

Chipotle and Deadpool 🎃

Summary: It's Halloween. Phil doesn't go trick or treating, but dresses up as a cat to get a half-price burrito at Chipotle. (A Mexican place above)
————————————————————————

Phil's POV

I felt very ridiculous as I drove up to Chipotle in a very low effort costume. I was wearing black pants and a black sweatshirt. The sweatshirt said "I'm a cat" on it and had a hood with cat ears on it. I had that pulled up over my head. I had drawn whiskers on my face using marker, already regretting it as I knew it wasn't going to come out. I nervously looked in through the wall, which was actually a large window, trying to see if I was the only one with a costume on. I was relieved to see that most people had costumes on.

I climbed out of my car and went inside, comforted by the fact several staff members behind the counter were wearing costumes. I already knew what I wanted and there was no like so I went right up to the front. A man with a Deadpool mask on and a Deadpool onesie was there. He had his work uniform on over it all.

"Hello, what can I get you today?" He said in an enthusiastic voice.

"A burrito, please," I respond. But the man was staring down at my sweatshirt.

"I was about to ask what you were," he said slowly, "but then I read your shirt. That's the most reading I'm going to do today." I laughed at the mans joke.

"Alright, what can I get you today?" He said, chuckling lightly. I loved that little chuckle. I wish I could sit here and listen to it all day.

"A burrito," I repeated.

He put a large tortilla on the large warmer on the counter. "Ah, the geometrical food. Brown or white rice?"

"White, please." He piled rice onto the tortilla with quick practiced hands.

"Black or pinto beans?"

"Pinto."

"Beans beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat the more you-" he hesitated. "You know the rest." I laughed again, finding myself liking this unidentifiable man more and more.

"Any original Queso for you?"

"No thank you."

"What type of salsa?"

"Medium, please."

"Looks gross but tastes delicious," he says, scooping the chunky green salsa on my burrito. I felt myself blush lightly at how much I was laughing at this mans witty humor.

"Any cheese or sour cream?"

"Cheese please."

"Like that guy online did it," he says, imitating Salt Bae. I laugh the hardest at that one, knowing lots about Internet jokes.

"Anything else for you?"

"Lettuce please."

"Gotta have the greens," he says picking up a handful and plopping it on top. He slides it down to another man who had a Spider-Man mask on. "Take it away, spidey." The man in the Spider-Man masks folds up my burrito and puts it in a basket. I pay and take a seat, choosing one so I'd be facing the Deadpool man.

I eat my burrito, eyes on the masked man the whole time. I absolutely loved his witty jokes. He never seemed to run out.

"Welcome to Dan's taco shack," he says enthusiastically to some people arriving at the counter. Dan, I thought to myself, his name is Dan.

A family walked into the restaurant, and I grinned, knowing I was going to be hearing more jokes. The father was dressed up as Santa clause.

"Oh my gosh," said the masked man (Dan) walking up to the counter, "he's real!"

I giggled softly. I had finished my burrito long ago, but felt no need to leave. I felt like I knew Dan even though I had never seen his face.

"Hello little nuggets," he says, waving at the little kids hiding behind their parents legs. I burst out laughing at that one. Dan moves his head in my general direction, but since the mask had no eye holes it was hard to tell where he was looking. As Santa clause moved along the counter, I heard Dan listing what he wanted for Christmas to him. I couldn't hear what exactly he was saying, but I still found it funny. This guys awesome, I think to myself.

Pretty soon I'm the only one at the restaurant. I'm just absentmindedly playing on my phone while sneaking glances at Dan. He was still doing silly antics behind the counter, making his co-workers laugh.

I was just preparing myself, in a sad demeanor, to leave, when Dan walked around the counter and started heading towards me. My heart thumped in my chest.

"Little late, don't you think?" He says, sitting in a seat across from me. I chuckle and rub the back of my neck, unsure of what to say. "Obviously it's because you love the food so much you can't bear to leave it."

I laugh, feeling a blush rise on my face. It wasn't far from the truth.

"You know," I said casually, "I've been wondering what you look like all night."

Dan laughed. "You know, I am quite sweaty. I don't think we're going to get anymore costumers tonight." He takes off the onesie hoodie and the mask. I feel my breath catch in my throat. Under the mask were the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. They sparkled with every movement. And his curly brown hair was slightly messy, but I thought I had never seen such perfect hair.

Dan ran his fingers through it, shaking his head vigorously. "Ah, that's better," he says, sitting back with a satisfied sigh. "So, what's your name?"

"Phil."

"Do your name isn't just Cat. Got it. I'm Dan."

I giggle. "I already knew that."

Dan furrows his brow. "How?"

"It's kinda hard not to hear you yell 'welcome to Dan's taco shack!'" I say, grinning.

Dan laughs and wags a finger at me. "Those cat ears do work then."

I blush, remembering I look like a cat. He didn't seem to notice my embarrassment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. "So technically you should have left 5 minutes ago, but we're pretty chill here so we won't kick you out just yet."

"Oh! I can leave, I don't mind."

"Well I wouldn't want to kick you out of the place that's been your home for the past 2 hours." He says chuckling. My mouth drops open.

"It's been that long?"

He laughs his beautiful laugh. "Time flies when you're having fun. I saw you over here having a jolly good time all by yourself."

I giggle nervously. "Well you're pretty funny.."

"What's that now?"

I'm blushing madly now and staring down at my hands in my lap. "I-I stuck around because I was.. watching you. You're very witty."

For once it seemed Dan didn't know what to say. His mouth closed shut when I looked up at him. "Wow, that's.. very flattering, Phil."

I felt pleased he remembered my name.

"Would you like to exchange numbers?"

It was my turn to be speechless. Dan wants to keep in contact with me? "Oh, uhm, sure," I say, fumbling for my phone. I hand him mine and take his, touching his hand in the process. Sparks seem to fly from that small touch. I type in my number, making and changing several mistakes in my nervousness. Dan takes his phone back.

"Alrightly Phil, I shall see you soon I presume?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Definitely," I say smiling. I head out to my car and was starting it up when I noticed a empty feeling in my pocket. I patted down my pants. Where is my phone?

Dan.

I run back inside and find Dan smirking at me from behind the counter. "Told you we'd be meeting again soon."

————————————————————————
So I wasn't planning on doing a double update but this was based off a true story tonight. I dressed up as a cat, went to Chipotle, and there was the hilarious Deadpool guy behind the counter. It was awesome.