where the time went- chloe price

Rest.

THREE MONTHS LATER

<Messages (15)
Nathan
are you awake?
6:26am

Rosemary
what the fuck
6:28am

Nathan
im gonna take that as a yes
6:29am

Rosemary
i don't know what i'm supposed to say to you right now
3:34am

Nathan
say you'll meet me at two whales at 9am?
3:35am

Rosemary
only because i'm not convinced i'm actually talking to you right now.
3:35am

an 8:30am call from a stranger about an ad i had posted on craigslist last night was not what i was expecting to receive when i woke up. he had the money for the car and he had just left with it, leaving chloe now 300 dollars richer than when she woke up. she was happy with the money but her eyes were glossy as she watched the man drive her car down the street her house was perched on,
"i'm sorry, chloe," i spoke softly as i ran my fingers down her wrist and landed themselves between her fingers, she sniffed softly before stepping away from me, her hand slipping out of mine as she wiped her eyes,
"it's okay," she mumbled. her eyes not meeting mine before she walked away from me and into the house, leaving the front door open behind her. i felt my heat thump against my rib cage the longer i stood out in the driveway by myself, her sadness about us having to sell her car was my fault. i bought it up two days ago and it was already gone, it happened faster than we had expected, all of this had and i felt a bit nauseous thinking about it.
so, before i could indulge myself in my anxious thoughts, i inhaled sharply and walked back into the house, knowing i had to gather the ruminants of my belongings and head to two whales to meet nathan. chloe was laying on her bed when i walked in, smoke slipping from between her lips, her eyes popped open when i entered the room but closed gently again once she realised it was me. i picked up my bag from the end of her bed and pulled it onto my shoulder,
"i'll be back soon,"
"okay,"
"i'm sorry about your car, chloe. i genuinely didn't think it would happen-"
"because it was a piece of shit,"
"no, i-"
"it's fine," she leant up on her elbows and placed the smoking stick in the ash tray next to her, "it's probably gonna blow up in the next month or so," she shrugged softly, her eyes finally meeting mine, "saved me the hassle of dealing with it," the corners of my lips turned up into a small smile,
"i know it meant a lot to you though,"
"it did," she shrugged, "but i can live without it," she sat up and slid off the bed, taking the few steps until she was in front of me, "i wouldn't have said yes to you posting the ad if i wasn't okay with it happening, rosie," she tucked my hair behind my ear as she looked down at me, "i would rather be without that car than you."

i couldn't believe i was here. i couldn't believe i was actually sitting in front of him and he was here.
alive and breathing.
existing.

the skin under his eyes was shaded a deep purple, his lips were cracked and dry and his cheeks were hollow. he looked exhausted and withering away.
i swallowed dryly not allowing my eyes to leave his hunched frame as he sat in front of me, i hadn't said a word to him and he hadn't said one to me, we just sat there in silence in front of each other. staring at each other emptily, almost like we were terrified that if we moved or spoke that we would both be woken up from this dream of being with each other again.
"how are you?" he spoke first, breaking the illusion,
"where the fuck have you been?" i pushed out, ignoring his question, he looked down at his lap briefly as he laughed gently, i continued to stare at him with confusion blazing across my features, "nathan,"
"around," he shrugged, i couldn't help but scoff as he spoke to me. i shook my head before opening my mouth again,
"you've been gone for three months, nathan. no contact, not even a fucking text just letting me know you were still alive-"
"you were gone 2 years and i didn't get a word from you, rosemary," he rolled his eyes. ouch.
"that was-" i sighed, "that was before rachel, things are different now. she-"
"don't," he spat, "don't talk about her,"
"where the fuck have you been!?" he sighed as he leant back into the chair, his arms crossed against his chest before he looked up at me, his eyes pained but a smirk playing his lips,
"my dad made a deal with the judge," he spoke and i furrowed my brows, "got me three months in a psych ward to avoid a jail sentence,"
"how? you-"
"i didn't kill her, rosie,"
"i know you didn't-"
"you were thinking it,"
"no. i wasn't," i was,
"you were. you haven't looked at me in the eyes since you got here," he shrugged,
"just tell me what happened with her,"
"can't,"
"why not?"
"not allowed to,"
"says who?"
"my lawyer,"
"nathan," i sighed in frustration, running my hands through my tangled hair before looking back up at him, "i'm not a police officer. i'm your friend. i'm your fucking sister," i finally managed to look him properly in the eyes and he quickly looked down, "tell me what the fuck happened that night,"
"i-" he breathed heavily, "i didn't do it... you know... i didn't hurt her," his voice started to break and my expression softened, "i was there when it happened though. i told him i'd call the ambulance. she was on the floor, shaking, she bit her tongue or something there was blood coming from her mouth it was on the floor. all i wanted to do was clean it up but, mark he was so-" he breathed out shakily and i felt the tears prick my eyes as i listened to nathan recount the night, "he was so scared too," his eyes suddenly landed on mine. i wanted to look away, i felt intimidated under his stare but i kept my eyes on his, "he got me to pick her up. he didn't touch her once after the overdose. i carried her to my car, put her across the back seat. i think she was dead now she wasn't shaking or bleeding, and we drove to the junkyard. mark dug the hole and i put her in. i threw up behind the tree and then drove us back to mark's house. i scrubbed the floor until the sun rose and then i went to school. i threw up four times in the toilets at school. no one asked if i was okay but they were all talking about how rachel wasn't at school that day. four days later she was reported missing by her parents."
he finally finished as my tears were slipping into my mouth, i quickly wiped them with the back of my hand,
"is that what you wanted to know?" it was, it was what i wanted to know. but i didn't believe him. i didn't picture it as he was explaining it to me. it wasn't meant to be rachel in the dark room that night. it was meant to be me. and that's how i saw it. i saw myself on the floor, blood leaking from in between my lips when i shook uncontrollably as the drug flooded my system, overpowering my organs and shutting down my heart.
i swallowed dryly and looked up at him, preparing myself to answer his question,
"yes."

i wanted to stay at the diner with nathan, i wanted to reach out and wrap my hand around his, i could tell he was upset but i just... couldn't. i felt physically sick when i looked up at him for the last time, so i picked my bag up from the seat next to me and slid out from the booth, not looking at him once as i exited the building and drove out of the carpark.
just to even think that he was the last person to touch rachel, to see her alive, to hear her voice, even if her words were ones of struggle... it broke my heart into a million pieces. i always thought that she would outlive me, even though she was reckless she was beyond intelligent and every movement that she made with her body had a purpose and a thought process behind it, nothing was ever happening in her world out of pure coincidence. it filled my body with burning anger when i thought about how her last moments were out of her control, how she would have been tied up like i was, how she couldn't move with an extensive thought process, how she couldn't use her words to remove herself form the situation.
rachel was born to get herself out of trouble, not to end up in it.

"so... how was he?" chloe asked me as i sat down on her bed, my whole body feeling numb and unreasonably exhausted for 11:30am. i shrugged softly, careful not to use up too much of my energy,
"he was fine," i mumbled, "alive,"
"good for him," she replied almost sarcastically. chloe hadn't quite warmed up to the idea of nathan being completely innocent in rachel's death, i was beginning to... until today. the thought of nathan even being semi complacent to mark's demands made me want to go and strangle him, but then i remembered i also did unspeakable things to make mark happy.
"yeah," i spoke before i allowed myself to disappear into the submerging thoughts, "i probably shouldn't have seen him," i whispered, the honest words falling from my lips. chloe walked towards me and sat down next to me, her hand quickly wrapping around mine and allowing my tense muscles to relax, "not that i didn't want to, it was good to know that he was... alive. it just," i sighed sharply, "made everything so much more real. i wish he didn't come back and could live a normal life outside of this shit hole town,"
"you're projecting," she spoke with a soft laugh, it slipped from my lips too as i looked up at her,
"how so?"
"you want to live a normal life outside of this shit hole town,"
"doesn't everyone?" chloe breathed out a few laughs before she stood up, her hand leaving mine and my body immediately feeling stiff again. she walked towards her closet before speaking again,
"i know we weren't planning on going until saturday but," she pulled open the door and revealed a packed suitcase and duffel bag, "nothing's keeping us here. we might as well just go,"
"your mom..." i spoke as i stood up, my eyes catching hers as i tried to fight the smile on my lips,
"i know," she replied, "i already said my goodbye's,"
"you were planning on this?"
"i knew that i would leave as soon as i got the money," she pulled out the cash the man gave her this morning before quickly slipping it back into her pocket and walking towards me. her hands slipping over my waist as she held me in place a few inches away from her, "i was just gonna go to wherever you were," she shrugged while i placed my arms around her neck, pulling her in closer to me, her smell running through my senses, "but now we can leave together,"
"you sure you wanna do this?" i asked her,
"yeah," she whispered almost immediately, her eyes staying glued on mine as a smile broke through my lips, "i wanna see what your world was like in seattle. i wanna meet your friends, i wanna see what you would do everyday while i was waiting for you to come back. i want to be with you, rosie." soon enough i was extending myself up to her, our noses brushed together first before my eyes flicked closed just after i saw a smile caress her lips, then my lips caressed hers. they fit together softly as we stood in her bedroom, the room where we created so many memories together.
"i love you, chloe," i whispered as i pulled away, my body feeling like it did the first time i said those words to her. i felt weightless and beyond words happy.
"i love you too," she smiled widely as she broke away from me. she turned around and pulled the bags from the closet and handed me one of them. it was heavy but i held it, "you ready?"

her words hit me and i suddenly realised that we would be leaving arcadia bay together. we would be leaving our lives behind and creating new ones, creating new memories, new firsts and new lasts. everything rachel ever wanted in life. she took my death, it was only fair that i lived my life for her.
"yeah. i'm ready."

THE END.