i don't know what to do.
there's so many downfalls, so many rocks,
i don't see any brightening hue,
as all my actions depend on my thoughts.
my unreliable thoughts,
my untrustworthy thoughts,
the same thoughts that crashed me,
the same thoughts that failed me.
there's only pressure,
no time to wait.
there are only answers,
no time for questions.
they only want what's in the end,
but what about the beginning?
they want me to become a doctor,
but what if i was the patient?
everything is an arrow and i beg to escape.
the king looks down at his feet,
and there i am, on my knees.
chains everywhere,
ropes at my neck,
am i a puppet,
or worse a dog?
beware, they say, for i do not know what i am to be.
i am an outsider,
for i do not know how my inner parts leap.
i want to scream and tell them all,
let me be. leave me be.
let i, my own spokesperson, see what i want to see,
feel what i want to feel,
decide what i think is best for me,
until then,
settle down your own woes,
for i will remain in my lows.
