i found myself a pretend,
a thick, opaque mask,
a fog that initiated accidents,
an island uninhabitable.
i found myself unhappy,
so unhappy,
with no content to fight for,
with myself giving, and giving, and never for once taking.
is it me? or is it them?
is it the inevitable change?
have i failed to adapt to this new ocean, or have they chosen not to adapt to me?
it's a wonder how i mean a lot to them, yet my eyes remain ignored.
it's a wonder how they laugh so much, yet i haven't let out a single breath.
again, is it me, or is it them?
am i just unappreciative, or have they chosen not appreciate me?
i had to change everything i liked of myself, yet they remain the same piece of sugar cube that never dissolved in the hot burning tea that's growing colder by now.
acclimating to a cold water takes about a minute, getting accustomed to a different room takes about a week. but trying to be happy in a place where people don't care for your own happiness and depend upon you for their own?
how long must i handle this?
a finger wiggle in front of my eyes; too many questions, too many thinking, too many impatience.
yet i have gone through this for years of my life, and not once have i snapped.
