bitterness in my tongue,
a halo so dull,
fireworks undone,
with the glitters a null.
oh, it has come back.
sadly, unfortunately, painfully,
the reminders forgetting themselves that they're faster than bullets,
stronger than a bull,
better off seldom,
as it hits me and hits me and hits me.
both the sides of the road are empty,
wherever i go the sky is just black,
as if someone painted it with the darkest of shades to hide out the stars intentionally,
so i would find no remedies to walk in the dark,
so i would bump into every little presence,
so i would fight back that ball of pain in my throat
and tell myself to just give up.
because i will never find it. i will never find that shield,
that talk that lasts for hours,
that comforting silence,
that unneeded pressure to always present myself as unboring,
that constant welcoming trigger as i rest my fatigue on their shoulder.
i want that.
i have seen it and i want that.
i want to never always make someone laugh just so i would claim a title,
i want to be seen as a human who can cry and be themselves,
i want to never have to adapt again and again just so it could go to waste,
i want to live.
i want to be happy.
i want to never feel like pushing down the tears.
i want to smile.
i want to have someone by my side.
i want them to accept me for who i am and who i will be.
i want them to have different persepectives of who i am as i unveil my sides and personality.
please, i beg, with the lightning striking closer and closer. i want to be happy.
i just want to matter for who i am.
