i rest my fate upon falling petals with no shame,
and remain frozen in this underwater ride.
everyone's screams and laughter are muddled,
and we dive deeper into the dark depths of the ocean,
yet only i want to live.
only i want to float back on the surface.
only i notice the traps that remain on the bottom of the ocean.
still frozen, i don't look around.
still ashamed, the petals are finishing.
still deeper, its darker.
it is darker.
it is scarier.
it isn't what they told me it was.
and somehow, the warmth the depths had encased thawed my frozenness.
and i look around.
and everyone's eyes are wide, mouths open, smiles extending, hands reaching out.
what? what are they reaching for? we're only riding out our lives and only i fumble with my belt and tremble with fear.
only i seemed to have the remaining oxygen in my lungs.
only i seemed to succeed in opening the lock and jumping out of the seat.
and i fly.
higher and it is lighter. and it is colder.
and the petals have finished.
but i didn't need to count any alternatives anymore.
for i knew once i've left the drowning and floated into the open air.
