One of the Boys

Aunt Tanya's Pov

At the meeting with Dr. Cindy, we talked about what we want our perfect relationship to be like.

After the therapist asked that question, my mind started to swirl like a tornado. What do I want my perfect relationship to be like? Surely not like this. I started to imagine Scott coming home from work and hugging me. I would ask him how his day went and he would sit down and tell me everything that happened to him that day. I would smile and listen while I would start cooking our dinner. My nose started to have mind of its own, because I smelling the smell of strong dark coffee and my mouth began to feel dry.

"Tanya? Are you okay? What are you thinking about?" Dr. Cindy questioned curiously as I left my fantasy world.

"I was just thinking about what you said." I recovered quickly after zoning out for a few solid minutes. I looked back at Dr. Cindy and noticed she had a mug on her desk that I hadn't noticed before. She must have noticed me staring at the mug, because she asked me if I wanted coffee. I politely answered and she got out of her chair to go over to the coffee brewer that was in her office.

"You doing okay, Tanya? I noticed that you weren't really focused." Scott said quietly while Dr. Cindy was across the room making coffee.
"Is it something that's wrong? I mean something that we need to fix." He said as he motioned his head to Dr. Cindy's side of the office.

"No, I'm fine. I just don't know if this is gonna work. I really want to change." I whispered as I noticed Dr. Cindy was walking back over to her desk with my mug of coffee in her hand.

"So, I want each of you to tell the other person what you like the least about them or their actions and how they should change it." Dr. Cindy said.

"I'll go first. Tanya, I love you very much, but you are much too fragile. You also don't ever try to understand what I'm going through." Scott said stiffly.

As soon as I heard him say that, my anger began to boil.
"I don't understand what you're going through?!? Are you losing your damn mind? You brought this upon yourself! It's not my fucking fault that you go home and drink your ass off! How am I supposed understand you? Do you expect me to let you walk all over me. You aren't allowed to hit me. It's against the law. You know that, right? You are so lucky I don't call the damn police on you. You have to stop blaming everything on me. I'M DOING MY BEST!" I yelled right in Scott's face. I watched with pride as he lowered his head like a sad puppy. It felt good to be in his position for once.

"Okay, let's just cool down because we don't want to let the conflict escalate." Dr. Cindy tried to soothe me. All I could do is grab my bag and walk out of the door.

I got into the car and cried. I can't keep doing this. While I was brainstorming for solutions in my current situation, Scott got into the car and started driving. Every few minutes, I would glance over at his tear stained face and red nose. I desperately wanted to just jump out the car. The tense silence was killing me.

When we got home, I grabbed the phone and dialled my sister's number on the keypad.

"Hello? Anna?" I asked with my voice shaking. I could really use a sister to soothe my feelings.

"Yes. Who is this?" I heard my sister's soft voice question.

"It's me, Tanya. I need to tell you about the appointment today. Something bad happened between Scott and I." I began. I felt a salty tear enter my mouth as I talked.

The line went silent. "I'm so sorry Tanya. You can tell me anything. I'll always be here for you, and if you need to stay with us, we have a free guest room upstairs." Anna coached.

I smiled at how generous she is. Well, always has been. In elementary school, Anna would always buy candy or cupcakes with her allowance and share it with everyone on the last day of school every year. I was more of a shy kid and I didn't like being left alone. I never did anything that would draw attention to me.

"Thank you for your generosity, Anna but I don't want to leave Scott by himself. I know that doing that might only cause more trouble." I paused to take a deep breath. "But he's not willing to drop his addiction. I'm scared he will never stop. Yet, he had the audacity to say that I'm too sensitive!" I said. Frustration was filling my body. I could feel my anger surging through my veins. "I keep telling him to change. I even set spend my money on getting a couples therapists and, what does he do? He refuses to give any information so we can help him." I exhaled deeply and slouched onto couch.

"Just give it another try. Scott will eventually come to his senses. Maybe you guys should treat yourselves with a vacation or something. It might take your minds off the regular world." Anna suggested.

It sounded pretty nice to go on a vacation. I haven't seen much of the world, either. As a kid, we didn't get to go on trips or vacations because our parents couldn't pay for it. We weren't poor or anything, but our parents were more concerned with college funds.
I would have to convince Scott, which might be a challenge. At least it was worth a try.