If you love me (LMLY sequel Demi Lovato girlxgirl)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.

A few hours later

Just knock.

C'mon.

Just fucking knock.

And before I knew it, I was knocking against the cold hard wood of Sam's current residence. I felt my blood rush inside my veins as all my muscle tensed and my throat tighten.

I wasn't ready to face her now that I knew what I wanted. Seeing her would make my choice harder, again.

A noise brought me back to reality as I was greeted by deep blue eyes that were exactly like Sam's. I weakly smiled at Sam's mom and I saw her smile back in a reassuring way, the exact same way Sam did with me. Used to.

"Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, I just wanted to see if Sam was here.", my voice was weirdly confident as the facade I used to know so well was starting to come back.

"She'll be here soon. Do you want to wait inside?", her voice was smooth and I couldn't help but see how much like Sam she was.

I just nodded as an answer with a soft smile. I entered the room as she let me in. I knew this place so well as I spent a lot of Christmas here, way more than with my own parents it seemed.

"How've you been holding on?" Jeanette's soft voice said.

"I've been... fine.", I said trying to sound confident about my answer, "How is Sam?"

I didn't really want her to answer as I knew she must have been doing awful. I knew Sam and she respected my decisions but I knew she didn't feel as good as I did, although I was just doing fine because I was keeping myself busy.

"I'm not going to lie, she cries a lot and I'm afraid that it might affect her work somehow... But I'm glad to see you here, you know our door is always open, Alice.", she said while resting her hand on mine quickly.

I nodded as I felt tears threatening to fall. I looked down and bit my lip as everything that I kept to myself was slowly reappearing to the surface.

"You know, I love Sam... I'd never do anything to hurt her...", I said as I felt a tear roll down my cheek, "I never meant for everything that happened to happen, Sam deserves better than this... I'm sorry I let you down..."

I felt Janette's arms around me as I silently cried. I knew what it was like to be hurt and I knew Sam enough to know that when she felt something, it was always deep. I never meant to hurt her, she was so pure and never deserved to be hurt.

"You don't choose who you love, hun. Those things happen and at least you didn't lie to her.", she said on a reassuring tone before letting me go and giving me a tissu.

I blew my nose and dried my tears while nodding. I heard the front door open and the smile of my elder made me realize it must be Sam.

I softly got up as I heard Sam's voice resonate.

"Mom! I'm busy tonight, I'll get ready and leave right ahead, I have a dat-", she was walking closer to where we were and she stopped on her track when she saw me.

I knew she would finish her sentence by saying that she had a date and this thought made its way around in my mind and tears formed again in my eyes. I refused to let those tears win and I looked up to Sam as my walls slowly rebuilt themselves.

"Hi, we need to talk about Amy.", my voice was cold and strict. I knew it was triggering for her to see me like this but I needed to protect myself first.

She just nodded and dismissed her mom with a reassuring smile.

I saw her sitting down where her mom was sitting and I sat next to her but with a much larger gap between us.