Tip Rats

Part 13 - Nath

When Ned arrived home there was a particularly stupid looking car parked where his own usually sat. Its exhaust resembled the muzzle of an anti-tank gun and the bodywork was covered in all manner of bold embellishments, signifying that it was the vehicle of a massive douchebag. Ned did a lap of the car taking in all of its grotesque glory, the icing on this shit-cake was a bumper sticker that read 'fuck off, we're full' beside an Australian flag.

Ned went into the house and dropped off his bag before heading to the kitchen for a drink. As he passed the familiar rogues gallery in the living room Ned noticed an additional fat belly nestled on the couch. Krystal had brought her new boyfriend Nath home to meet the family. Ned had a hazy recollection of their meeting the previous evening and was thoroughly unimpressed that Krystal had brought this turd into their home. Shane and Nath seemed to be getting along royally which came as little surprise to Ned, they would be able to bond over shit cars, shit tattoos, shit music and racism. Terry waded through the lounge room ennui and came into the kitchen to get a can of soft drink.

'Krystal's boyfriend seems like a real winner' Ned lamented, as his father wrestled a Newman's Cola out of its shrink-wrap.

'Eh?' Terry replied, twisting his head inside the fridge to look at Ned. His hearing wasn't the best and sarcasm was generally wasted on him in any case.

'Krystal's boyfriend' Ned repeated, nodding his head in the direction of the lounge room.

'Oh yeah, seems like a nice fella' Terry replied vacantly before shuffling back into the abyss. Ned remained in the kitchen, leaning cross-armed against the sink in solitary protest. From around the corner he could hear Shane regaling the minutiae of his existence to Nath who he seemed to consider a superior troglodyte to himself. He offered him a discount at the chicken shop through his connections and offered his newly acquired mixed martial arts skills to the Brotherhood boys. Ned moved to the edge of the large archway that linked the two rooms and leaned against the wall, from here he could see his brother fawning over Nath like a giddy schoolgirl as he showed off his bad tattoos while Shane quizzed him on the Brotherhood's membership options. Terry sat in his reclining cocoon seemingly absorbed in the game show on the TV. Shane rolled up the left sleeve of his Limp Bizkit t-shirt to show off his poorly considered and poorly completed southern-cross tattoo. Nath also displayed a southern-cross which he had embellished with a tribal design that ran the length of his arm.

'What tribe are you from?' Ned asked from the archway.

'What?' Nath replied confused.

'Your tribal tattoo. What tribe rocks those squiggles?'

Ned was now on the receiving end of a three pronged scowl attack from the sofa.

'Whatever.' Nath replied dismissively.

'Yeah, whatever Ned' parroted Shane, jumping to the defence of his new best mate.

'Fuck off and leave us all alone' followed up Krystal, rounding out the trifecta of dismissals.

Ned redirected his gaze to the television and Nath resumed his middle-class suburban gangster stories to the delight of Ned's attentive siblings. After a few minutes Ned felt he had stood his ground for a sufficient amount of time and retired to the toilet for contemplation.