Tip Rats

Part 3 - Feeding

'Hey bro.' Ned looked up to see Big Jake standing in front of the oven, stirring the contents of a saucepan with a big grin on his face. 'Been having a little kip, mate?'

'Yeah.... I hit the road early this morning, took it out of me I guess.'

'It'll do that mate. You want some food?' Big Jake turned his body to give Ned a view of the various foodstuffs awaiting their fates on the cook top.

'Aww, I won't say no, looks good.'

'Sweet, should be ready in five. Me and Jakey are gonna eat out the back mate, if you're keen?'

'Yeah mate, sounds like a plan'. Ned stuck his head around the corner into the lounge where Jodie and Krystal had replaced Shane on the sofa. Terry remained in state, the armchair in full recline.

'Decided to come back to us Ned?' Jodie squawked sarcastically.

'There's no place like home' replied Ned. Krystal looked across at Ned but remained silent.

'What have you kids been up to all afternoon?'

'We went up the Bulwarra Bay shops to get some school stuff for Jake, and Krystal needed some stuff for her course too.'

'You doing a course Kryssie?' enquired Ned. Both he and Jodie looked at Krystal expectantly. Jodie jabbed Krystal with her elbow to extricate a response.

'Yeah, childcare' muttered Krystal, withholding eye contact.

'Oh, cool' replied Ned in as enthusiastic a voice as he could manage as a wave of anticipatory empathy washed over him. He could imagine the discomfort of the toddlers left in Krystal's charge; running around for hours in piss-soaked nappies while she buried her hangover vomit in their sandpit. Luckily, for the under-five's of Bundleton, the likelihood of her finishing the course was minimal, particularly if regular attendance was a requirement.

'Dinners up!' Big Jake bellowed from the kitchen.

Jodie and Krystal struggled out of the sunken couch, both requiring a couple of practice thrusts and significant leverage from the wobbly arm rests. Terry snapped the armchair into is upright mode and followed the girls out. The three of them schlepped past Ned into the kitchen where a row of plates piled high with food awaited them on the counter-top. There was an unspoken order to the distribution of meals; Terry, as the patriarch, always took the plate closest to the oven and the others collected their dinner along the line by order of birth. Ned took the last plate in the line, he didn't usually eat with the family and hence lost his place in the pecking order. Jodie and Krystal returned to the lounge and buried themselves back in the couch with their dinner. Terry retreated back to half recline mode in his ash stained chrysalis. Ned and the two Jakes took themselves out to the back patio to enjoy some al-fresco dining.

'Looking forward to school tomorrow, Jakey?' asked Ned, brushing dirt from the weather-beaten outdoor setting.

'Nope' replied Little Jake, testing the temperature of his food with his right index finger.

'You told me you liked your new teacher Jakey.' Big Jake interjected, 'You change your mind?'

'Yep. I'm up to level nine on W-C 2 now. I wanna stay home.'

Ned squinted at Little Jake. 'What?'

Little Jake gave Ned a derisive stare, 'War Commander 2, stupid.'

'Oi' big Jake snapped, 'none of that. Bloody video games, they'll rot your brains kid, I'll throw that thing away.' Big Jake strangled a smile well enough to scare Little Jake.

'Well I wish I was back at school, I reckon you're lucky Jakey' assured Ned.

'Me too, I'd rather be hanging out with my mates and finger painting all day, instead of getting up at five in the morning to drive a van around for 10 hours' added Big Jake.

'I'm in year 4 now Dad, we don't finger paint!' asserted Little Jake, stabbing a sausage with his fork to emphasise his seriousness.

'Ok buddy, chill out'. Big Jake replied, raising his palms in mock surrender.

Ned could see a red glow emanating from the caravan in the rear yard, 'Shane not eating tonight?'

Big Jake let out a girlish chuckle, ill-fitting of his girth, 'Shane's feeding himself now mate'.

'Why's that?'

'Jodie told him he had to start chipping in, and stop being a freeloader. He's got himself a microwave in there, I think he's just been eating pizzas and dim-sims every night.'

Ned pointed in the deirection of the caravan with his fork, 'I saw him getting stuck into some bacon and eggs earlier, I don't think they were microwave jobs.'

'Cheeky prick' muttered Big Jake through a mouthful of mashed potato, glaring at the caravan.

Little Jake licked the remaining gravy from his plate and headed toward the back door.

'Oi!' shouted Big Jake, 'Enjoy that video game tonight; I'm throwing it in the bin tomorrow.'

Little Jake paused, looking back at his Dad and scanning his face for a sign that he was just kidding before swinging open the screen door and running inside, satisfied that his Dad wasn't serious.

Big Jake got up and walked over to the beer fridge next to the back door, he picked up two stubby bottles and motioned to Ned that one was for him.

'Yeah, thanks mate.'

Big Jake opened the beers and sat down at the table, sliding Ned his drink. 'So, what's the latest bro? You know what you're gonna do with yourself now you've fucked off uni?'

Ned shook his head slowly, 'nope, no fucking clue'.

'You want a job at Newman's? You can be my delivery buddy' Jake said, giving Ned a playful nudge with his giant elbow.

'Andy said I can work with him'.

'You should definitely do that, the supermarket's a shitshow' Jake replied.

Ned slumped in his chair and picked at the label on his bottle, 'maybe, for a while'

'So you reckon you'll hang around here long term or fuck off to the city?'

'To be honest mate, I really have no idea at the moment. I'm starting to think maybe I should have stuck it out at uni'.

'Nah man, you hated that place, it's for nerds anyway, everyone knows that. I didn't even finish high school and look how awesome I am' Jake declared with grin, pointing at himself with his arms raised above his head.

Ned pointed at the house 'you live here mate, you know that right?'

Jake let out a chuckle and pointed to the caravan, 'yeah, but I don't live there. You wanna go shake it before we head in?'

Ned looked up from his tattered bottle label, nodding with a grin encroaching on sinister, 'definitely'.

Ned and Big Jake put their bottles on top of the fridge and snuck up to the van, their conspiring whispers masked by the 50 Cent CD Shane had blazing inside. They each took a side and began pushing on the outside walls of the van. Ned was surprised by how loudly the metal siding popped. With each shove he could hear Shane's possessions starting to topple and crash to the floor.

'Fuck off dickheads! You're gonna break my microwave!'

Ned could hear Big Jake's high-pitched giggles in between the shouting and pinging of the tin walls.

'Well, don't eat my bacon ya fat fuck!' Big Jake yelled before scurrying back to the house with Ned in tow.

Ned picked up the two plates still sitting on the patio table and carried them to the sink.

'Thanks for dinner, mate, I'll get the dishes.'

'You sure? I was gonna get Jakey to do it.'

'Yeah, mate, I got it.'

'All right, bro,' Big Jake gave Ned a thumbs up, before disappearing down the hall.

Ned surveyed the mountain of dishes in the sink before him and piled everything on the countertop, this load was going to require at least one change of water.