After the excruciating LAX entry procedure the boys grabbed a taxi and headed for the hotel that Chris had booked online the previous week.
The Buena Vista Hotel in Venice Beach was quite a place. It was located on the Pacific Coast Highway several blocks removed from the Venice beachfront and hadn't been updated since the mid 70's. The check-in clerk's skin looked like glazed pork rind and he had a moustache that looked like it was from a joke shop. He was wearing a net singlet and watching a Lakers game on a small portable TV. Anyone would have thought he'd been curing in this little cubicle since the day he was born.
'You boys from outta town?' he asked, rolling a toothpick along his top teeth with his tongue.
'Yeah, I made a booking, name's Bastoni'.
'Sure. What accent is that? New Jersey?' the clerk replied sliding open a drawer filled with keys and plucking out a set.
'Australian' answered Chris.
The clerk looked puzzled and paused for a second before he handed over the keys, 'if you boys want any ladies just let me know, I got all kinds'.
'Ok...thanks mate' Chris took the keys, careful not to make skin contact.
'How much is this joint?' Andy asked as they made their way along the outside walkway to their room.
'20 bucks a night, bargain!' Chris answered proudly.
'As long as I don't catch syphilis from the bed sheets it's a bargain' Ned muttered.
As the door swung open they were greeted with a room that looked like it had hosted its fair share of illicit trysts and suicides. The smell of the room could best be described as uncooked egg. There was a double bed and a single bed separated by a small bedside table on which sat a lamp and a rotary-dial Bakelite telephone that must have cracked a few skulls in its time.
'Have a look under this bed Andy' Ned called out from the other side of the room beside the single bed. Behind the frayed valance lay a thoroughly used condom curled up on the worn carpet like a forlorn ghost. Judging by the stains it had seen action in both barrels.
'That is fucked!' replied Andy recoiling in disgust.
Ned retrieved a wooden rod that was acting as a lock on the room's only window and prodded at the johnny before skilfully hooking it and running with it at arm's length into the bathroom and flushing it down the toilet in defiance of the sign on the back of the bathroom door.
By the miracle of west to east international travel, the boys had arrived an hour before they left which amused Chris no end. 'It's like the flight never happened, we've travelled through time'.
'I read about this, we're supposed to stay awake and get into the normal time routine to avoid jet-lag' Andy suggested as he peered out the dirty window to the street outside.
Ned joined Andy in peering out the window, 'well, truth be told, I'm not that keen to spend any more time in this room than is absolutely necessary'.
After a brief discussion and a whore's shower with some of Chris's deodorant, the three headed outside and walked in the direction of the beach.
The boys were wholly unprepared for the reversed traffic flow and found themselves stepping in front of cars they were expecting to come from the opposite direction on several occasions.
The beachfront was something else too. It was late afternoon and the pedestrian boardwalk was busy with tourists gawking at the street performers and other oddballs lining the path. They followed the boardwalk north trying to avoid eye contact with the local vagabonds all the while being enthusiastically offered medical marijuana prescriptions every 45 seconds. Chris opened his backpack and produced a small notebook and a pocket map of Los Angeles.
'Is that your little diary Chrissy?' Andy teased.
'This is the playbook fellas, I wrote down everything in here for the trip. We've got three days here before we get the bus out to Vegas' Chris replied waving the book in front of Ned and Andy. 'We can grab a feed here and then head towards Hollywood.'
Chris seemed to be confident about what he was doing and he was the only one who'd gone to the trouble of acquiring a map so Ned and Andy followed Chris's lead, hoping his confidence was justified.
They stopped for some tacos and continued north along the waterfront for a few minutes before arriving at Santa Monica Pier.
'We can follow Santa Monica Boulevard all the way to Hollywood' Chris surmised after perusing his map for several minutes.
'How far?'
'It doesn't look too far, a few K's I reckon'.
YOU ARE READING
Tip Rats
Genel KurguNed wants to make something of his life, he's just not sure what that something is. He's watched his father rot in front of the television for as long as he can remember and he's afraid he'll end up doing the same. That's what the little town of Bun...
