Scars (A One Direction Fanfiction)

Liam's Letter

To my boyfriend, angel, saviour, sunshine and best friend.

I honestly don't even know where to begin... To be honest I don't even know why I'm writing this for you.

I should probably start off by saying that we all have a place. Mine just so happens to not be on this earth.

Every single day I wondered to myself why do people love me? I'm not worth it. But as I write this I can't think of a day where I didn't think about you. Even through my darkest days you were the one who kept me alive for so long. Maybe you were the one that loved me. I'm just surprised I lasted this long, my mind is a very dark and dangerous place.

I remember the first day I met you. I remember not wanting to be there. I was so nervous to meet you guys and share with you my story but when I walked through that door I knew things were about to change.

When I met you I was mesmerised by your deep brown eyes that somehow sparkled like they do in cartoons. "Can I eat your eyes?" I asked... I still can't believe I said that. Fast forward a couple of months and I was head over heels for you even though I could never fully love you the way you wanted me to because I never truly loved myself which is why things are the way they are now. You are my first and only love. I have never experienced in my life what we did when we were together... that could be interpreted many different ways but hopefully you know what I mean.

If I could rewind time I wouldn't change a single thing, I would just relive it all over again because I have loved every second being with you. The only thing that I regret - and I thought it over every minute of every day, and I kick myself for it - is running away from you.

I'm sorry that I couldn't fix you Liam. Even after I pass that's one thing that I will always hate myself for.

Please don't forget me but don't hold onto me either. Go live your successful life with the millions of people who love you almost as much as I do. Maybe one day you will be able to find a girl who loves you the way you deserve to be loved. But I can promise you that after I shoved the pills down my throat and inserted the needle into my bloodstream, my last words were "I love you Liam" because I just simply do. With all my heart.

So in the wise words of the little yellow bear obsessed with honey..."How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Love from up above,

Breanna x