Love On His Sleeves

In my feelings

Imani's POV

Okay... when I say I'm alone, I really mean it when I say I don't get why a bitch is single. First and foremost I know I'm fine as hell, but I also know that not all that matters. I'm also a loyal and down type of girl. But it never fails that I always get the short end of the stick when it comes to relationships. And here I am on FaceTime with Darius while me and Jonathan figure out what I'm packing for this trip and all I can think about is how they're going to be boo'd up.

"Umm hello! Earth to Imani!" Jonathan said trying to get my attention. I look back at him and he's shaking his head smiling while Antwan is in the background talking shit. I just roll my eyes and smile back. "You acting like me, spacing out and shit hun. What are you thinking about? We were literally trying to get your attention for like four minutes, but you were in your own little world."

I shrug and plop down on my bed and start searching the web on my laptop and Jonathan looks at me and shakes his head. While Antwan mentions something about Tee and him coming over to pick him up. He gets off the phone and Jonathan walks out of my closet with folded clothes in his hand and sits down.

"What's up Imani?" He asked staring and waiting for my response. Nothing Jonathan I was just reflecting and thinking about this trip. What you need to be worried about is how you're going to actually see Dubai when we get there.

What do you mean? He asked confused.
Laughing and falling on my bed I focus on my phone and swipe through Instagram. You and Samir are going to be boo'd up the entire time and fucking.

He smacked his teeth and stood up and put the clothes in my suitcase. "That's not all we're about and you know it Imani."

Yeah okay, will see when we get there and I noticed he was getting annoyed so I started smiling and stood up and hit him on the arm. I'm just playing Jonathan, damn lighten up. I said waiting for him to respond but then he snapped.

Imani you made us feel bad for. Or including you and now that you're going your going to guilt me into feeling bad about going someplace with my boyfriend?

Jonathan I was just playing chill... I said snapping my neck and he laughed. "Imani I've known you for how long? He said piercing his lips. I know when you're playing or not and you're dead serious. Of course me and Samir are going to be boo'd up on this trip but that's not all it's going to be about. I've never been to this place before and if you think I'm going to waste the experience away by nesting with a boy you're highly disturbed and maybe I do need to play matchmaker and find you some dick, he said with his arms crossed and we just stood there staring at one another and he started laughing.
Fuck you Jonathan I said laughing with him. And I sat back on the bed and confessed what I've been feeling.

It's just I don't understand why I'm single or why no one has expressed interest in me. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. And when I see you with Samir and how he is with you and even Antwan and Tee's weird relationship I just get really discouraged about my love life and the lack there of it.

Like.... what fucking gives... Jonathan just looked at me and I shook my head. I knew you wouldn't understand.

Imani I hear you, but what needs to give is you. So many guys try to approach you, but your mentality needs to change. I mean try being more open and receptive to guy who don't fit what YOU are specifically looking for. Jonathan said holding my hand.

I nodded and felt a tear in the crevices of my eye. I hear you but why should I have to settle, am I not deserving of the perfect guy for me? I asked.

Yeah you are but how would you know who that is if you pass on every guy who does try to talk to you? Look... when we get to school I have a feeling you're going to find Mr. right... now! I laughed and shoved him.. He smiled and continued and Mr. Forever! He finished pulling me into a hug.

We finished packing and went downstairs to eat dinner when my mom started talking about school and how she was excited for us to experience our first year. Then she started talking about relationships and told jonathan he shouldn't go into college being in a relationship, and I just palmed my face in my hands and shook my head. She's always putting her foot in her mouth. And Jonathan sat there polite and appearing to listen to her. I know he's going to internalize what she's saying and it's going to be something else I'll have to deal with and hear about. Ma... that really not your place, don't you think... I said trying to get her to shut up.

"I'm just saying college is a whole different breed of experiences and people." She said shrugging and walking upstairs with a smoothie. I looked at jonathan and gave him a empathetic look and he started laughing while eating his phone.

My puzzled look caused him to rub my shoulder, and he smiled. It's find Imani, I know how your mom is and I agree to a certain extent, but I love Samir and I know what I want. He said smiling while texting Samir.

I guess, well I'm about to finish packing so I won't forget anything tomorrow morning I said getting up and walking upstairs.

Okay, after I'm finish eating I'm going to head out, Samir is coming to get me. I'm staying with him tonight and will come get you tomorrow to head over to the airport. I nodded and told him to text me later. And he turned back around to eat.

What he said really stuck with me though, was I really paying every guy who's approached me dust?