Bully to Bully

Tsunamis On A Golf Course

HARRY'S P.O.V

The cremation was short. We walked in, shook hands with people I didn't know, accepted their apologies for her death even though they had nothing to do with it and smiled as they commented on how similar we looked. The flowers were selected in her favourite colours and the music was of her own choice. It must have been in her will as there was no-one in the room who was close enough to her to know those things. The congregation was made up of a few work friends, old work friends, old next door neighbours, Jay, Louis and I. Her older work friends cried more than the newer and I presumed that it was because they knew each other longer. Jay cried quite heavily and I wondered why. Louis stayed solemn through the whole day. I did not cry. Not there. At my grandmother's funeral my dad turned to face me and placed his hand on my shoulder gently.

"It's alright to cry son," He smiled with glossy eyes. "It reminds us we're alive." Thinking back on it, the reference to being 'alive' was a bit inappropriate at a funeral but I took his advice and buried it deep within me because it's usually the only dignity I have left when I find myself crying.

Gemma was distraught when she found out that she would miss the funeral but once she had stopped spluttering and let me speak, I soon corrected her saying that it was a cremation. She called me a swear word and nearly hung up the phone but I explained myself quickly. I said that only a few words would be said, a hymn would be sung and then we'd be gone. She wasn't religious so it wouldn't be a long ceremony with prayers and speeches and all of that so she wasn't really missing out on anything. But the thing that really assured her that she wasn't missing much was my promise to not spread the ashes until she came back home and that we would do it together.

I now sat in the back seat of Jay's car with Louis in the passenger seat and Jay was obviously driving. She said that the fact the funeral was on a school day was a good enough excuse to tell the girls that they couldn't go because she knew that they wanted to but she thought that it wasn't appropriate for their ages. I attended my first grandmother's funeral at the age of two and the second at the age of nine but I said nothing. Jay had made a few remarks about how "beautiful" the service was and that there was a "good turn out". I agreed with a murmur even though it was a lie and carried on watching the houses pass by.

"Harry dear, where is this 'place'?"

"Errrm you can just drop me off at my house."

"Harry I don't really want you going in there, especially after all of this and you don't even have keys and-"

"Don't worry I wasn't going to go inside, it's just very close to my house and it's an easier direction for you." I tried to smile as she was looking at me from the over-head mirror.

"Oh okay, as long as your safe." I smiled again but it was very broken and my lips couldn't bare the aching of a curve. She smiled back sympathetically and then looked back to the road.

In one ear I was listening to my earphones which were currently playing the A-Team by Ed. It was an amazing song and I thought that the lyrics were genius. He text me when I was in hospital and I replied because I really didn't care about what Louis thought. He'd invited me to a pub he was playing at but I told him the situation and everything that had happened because I at least wanted one friend. He sent his sincere apologies and I told him that I wish I could have seen him play. He told me that he uploads his songs to Spotify and that I could check them out if I was that bothered and that is exactly what I did. I was blown away by his voice and lyrics and I quickly fell in love. I text him that to which he replied 'lol' and I smiled.

The crematorium was pretty local so within ten minutes we were parked outside of my house.

"Is your phone turned on?" Jay asked me.