Earth Shattering

Chapter 9- Home

(Song: You Say- Lauren Daigle)- Optional and placed wherever you want near the beginning. I just wanted it mainly for one part that you will know when you read :)

Monday August 8th, 2005 03:43pm

Draco watched as Hermione slept for the next three hours. Not once did he take his eyes off of her; not even for a second. He heard her say she missed him too and he thought long and hard about if she was talking about the garage or, if heard him say he missed her so many times, when she was in her coma. It was barley a whisper and he didn't think even she knew he heard; but he did.

He wondered how things were going to go after that. He didn't want to be awkward around her and he desperately wanted to tell her about everything, including the fight he was having with himself. He wouldn't of course tell her what happened, but he couldn't take her not knowing how he felt.

Hermione stirred slightly as she cuddled closer to the blanket; however, she never awoke. Draco moved to the edge of his seat to be closer to her and studied her face. Raising a hand, he grazed her cheek with the back of his knuckles. She tilted her head slightly, but still stayed asleep. He cupped her face and caressed her lips with a feather light touch from his thumb.

"I love you, Hermione." He whispered ever so softly. "But I know I am not enough for you."

He pulled his hand back and sat back in his chair. He didn't hear or see Harry and Ginny, enter the room, nor did he know they back out and stood watching him from around the corner with slight pity on their features; eavesdropping.

Draco lowered his head and let out a sigh.

"I don't know how to do this?" he continued to whisper, careful not to wake her "It was so much easier telling you everything, knowing you probably wouldn't hear me anyway." He leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees, looking to the floor. "I don't know how to talk to you without being weird about it, so I guess I will just let it all out while you are sleeping." He let out a breath and rubbed his hand across his lips before resting them in his fingers and stared into a void before him.

He stayed like that for a few seconds before removing his hand from his mouth and looked back down the ground.

"I thought I would know what to say to you when you woke up...but, I don't. I thought I finally had you, Hermione. But then you were gone, and just like that, I lost you. I was honest when I said I would run to where ever you are." He looked up at her, and thought about how beautiful she looked sleeping. "I wanted to take your place, you know? I wished every day that it was me who was impaled and not you. You didn't deserve that. You helped me out more that day, than anyone ever has in my whole life." He lowered his head again "But now you don't remember and I can't help you...I just wanted to take your place." He let out another breath "I can't explain why it is easier to talk to you like this. I think perhaps, I have grown used to it. That, or I am too scared to tell you how I really feel, to you face. I wanted to tell you were beautiful as soon as I saw you in the lobby, did you know that? I didn't though, I was afraid of how you would take it. I need you Hermione; I need you like the ocean needs the waves; like a butterfly needs its wings...I...I wish I would have told you sooner...Did you know that I took everything you ever said to me to heart? Every time you fought against me, I actually felt pain inside. I hated upsetting you but I had no choice. I tried to help you behind the scenes. I actually ripped out that page about the Basilisk at the book shop in second year, so you could find the Chamber of Secrets. I even snuck out and sat by your bed side every night when you got petrified... Every hateful thing I had ever said to you was for show and...because I was scared, Hermione...But I know I am not enough for you. I could never measure up to half of what you have done. I don't even know who I am. I have been trying to fix myself for a long while but, but I still don't know. All I know is that I have no friends; I am all alone in the word and it's a fact, that you are too good for me. I am weak; but I still love you and I still want you. How can I love someone when I can't even love myself? How can you love someone who couldn't even protect you?" he sighed and lowered his forehead to his hands. "