~Together~ (Carl Grimes x Reader) *UNDER EDIT*

Chapter 43: Trauma

*warning certains parts of this chapter will hold some adult content such as the attempt of rape...no rape will acutally occur but...yeah you have been warned*

*(Y/N)'s P.O.V*

Carl carried me inside with little diffifulty seeming as i hadn't eaten in days, my head rested against his chest as i hugged his overshirt tighter around my body. I was in only my underwear so he covered me, Carl grunted as he trudged up the stairs and towards my room. He layed me down carefully on the bed and sat next to me, sadness and empathy swirled in his eyes. Carl lifted his hand up to brush some hair from my face, as soon as i saw his hand in front of my face i flinched sinking further into the bed. Carl's breath caught in his throat and he immediately let his hand fall back to his side, the sadness in his eyes grew "s-sorry Carl..." i mumbled "no, no i'm sorry" he sighed. Leaning over slowly he pecked my cheek and stood up to leave.

I grabbed the back of Carl's shirt before he could walk off "u-um...please?" i asked, Carl nodded already knowing what i wanted walked back over ad laid down next to me. I could tell the trauma from what happened was affecting him as well a frown was etched onto his face causing me to frown as well. I gulped and snuggled into his chest "don't be sad...i'm fine" i whispered, he nodded and smiled genuinely hugging me close and slowing his eyes to gt some rest of his own. I smiled softly as i listened to the steady beating of his heart 'i'm sorry Carl...i'm sorry that this had to happen, but...i promise i will get over this...i don't know how long it's going to take and i don't know if i'll be the same afterwards but i assure you i will never stop loving you so please, never stop loving me too....' i thought as i closed my eyes and subconsciously nuzzled my head further into Carl's chest and allowed sleep to pvertake my body.

~Dream~

Everything was all too familiar, the stains on the walls the blood on the chair and on the floor. The leather straps that tied me down and the sight of the Governor in front of me skirking with a smug look on his face. Walking closer he hovered over me once again but i couldn't move nor could i speak, i had to watch and feel as he continued to defile me. The governor rested his knee in between my legs his arms either side of my head. Leaning down he roughly turned my head to the side and harshly bit up and down my neck, placing kisses that burned like acid down to my chest he ripped my shirt from my body and proceeded to left me up by the stomach and reaching under me to undo my bra. I could feel fear like i have never felt before 'this is really happening...god help me!' i screamed in my mind.

The governor removed his knife from it's holster and cut the straps off, removing my bra he stared at my chest for periods at a time. Smirking he leaned down and licked up my chest, sitting back he cut off my jeans and my underwear and started to unbuckle his belt-

~Dream end~

I gasped and shot up tears streaming down my face, covering my face with my hands i pulled my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth. I heard a groaned from next to me and scooted away "(Y/N)?" Carl's voice called, i felt a hand rest gently on my shoulder. I screamed and shot into the corner "no, no, NO! Stay away from me!" i yelled sobbing and pushing myself furhter into the corner. Rick rushed in obviously just awoken "what's going on?!" he asked "(Y/N) had a nightmare and she's freaking out!" Carl yelled franitcally "she won't let me confort her, she won't even let me touch her..." Carl's voice was laced with pain and i felt really bad but there was nothing i could do i didn't want anyone to touch me right now especially a male.

Carol rushed into the room "what happened?" she asked, Rick explained what happened "can you two boys leave us for a moment?" she asked earning a hesitant nod from the two. Carol walked over and sat next to me leaning against the wall, i whimped and jolted as she put her hand on my knee "hey...it's okay, it's okay" she whispered "C-Carol...i can't- i can't" i choked out "can't what?" she asked "i can't forget...i can't make Carl happy anymore" i mumbled "and why is that?" she asked "i'm afraid" i answered "afraid? Of what?" she asked with concern "that i will break his heart from my trauma" i replied. Carol chuckled "i can tell he really loves you (Y/N) if anything he desperately wants you to get over this and he will be there every step of the way trust me" she encouraged "and if you're wrong?" i asked "i can tell i'm not...i've never seen such youngens have this much love for one person. Carl makes you happy right?" she asked "yes" i replied "and you love him yes?" she asked "of course!" i yelled earning a chuckled "then there's no problem right? This should be new determination for you...so you can fight this and know you won't have to do it alone because he is there with you...he will always be there with you, i can tell" she pat my knee "thank you" i smiled.

Carol left and sent Carl back in, i stood up and wipe the tears from my face "are you okay?" he asked "yeah" i replied with a light laugh "are you sur- woah!" Carl yelled as he stumbled back from the force of my hug "i'm sorry" i muttered, Carl wrapped his arms around my waist ad chuckled "for what?" he asked "for making you worry...for trying to push you away" i replied "it's okay i understand" he whispered hugging me bck tightly "hey Carl?" "hm?" he hummed "...love you" i whispered. Carl grinned "i love you too" he replied pecking the tip of my nose, we stayed there hugging for quite a while, i was happy, Carl was happy and we are together no matter how many times we get seperated i'm pretty sure we'll always find a way back to each other...we have to...right?