~Together~ (Carl Grimes x Reader) *UNDER EDIT*

chapter 45: Hurtfull memories and hurtfull actions

*(Y/N)'s P.O.V*

After i had managed to get out of Carl's grip without waking him i walked down to the bathroom and in all honesty the place was scary as all hell but i had my gun on me and a knife so i would be good. I removed my shirt leaving me in nothing but my jeans, boots and bra looking in the mirror i frowned as my eyes trailed down my my collar bones. They protruded more then normal 'i haven't eaten in a while...i can't believe i haven't noticed until now' i thought as i lifted my hands up to brush the skin covered bones.

My hand trailed up further to my throat, gripping gently i closed my eyes and an image i had tried hard to forget flashed into my mind. It was Shane...he had his hands wrapped around my throat just like back at the farm, it was like i was relivign the whole thing again. His death grip on my airway, the anger in his eyes, the murderous intent, and mostly the fear that went through my very being at the time. My eyes snapped open and i had noticed that my hand was clenched around my throat making it impossible for me to breathe. I removed my hand and stumbled away from the mirror, and i could've sworn i saw Shane's face flash in my reflection, i gasped and fell back onto my behind. Ignorign the stinging pain i had felt i shook my head and rubbed my eyes looking back at the mirror to see the wall. I stood up rushed over to the shower pumped the water and let it rain down on me ignoring the fact that i was still wearing clothes.

Leaning my head against the wall i felt the water drum against my back and it was rather soothing to be honest. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my erratic breathing and heartbeat 'after all this time...why am i thinking of Shane now?' i thought to myself. The water stopped running as it needed more pumpig but i just stood there soaking wet trying to ease myself into  calmer state, i slid down and sat up against the wall my knees to my chest. Pushing my hair out of my face i blew some water from entering my mouth, i heard footsteps and someone walked around the corner "(Y/N)?" and what do you know it was the one and only...Carl! I didn't spare him a glance "what aire you doing? did you take a shower with your clothes on? you can't just sit there you might catch a cold" he said worried walking over and checking my forehead. I gently pushed his hand away "i'm fine...i just needed to cool down for a second" i admitted "why?" he asked "id...rather not talk about it" i muttered "...right" he said a little dejected.

I sent him a sympathetic gaze and stared back down at my lap "remember that time back on the farm when something happened with Shane and i told you i'd tell you when the time comes?" i asked "yeah...has this got something to do with that?" he asked back, i nodded. Carl sighed patting my knee "come on, you're going to catch a cold if we don't get you in some dry clothes" he said standing up and offering me a hand. I took it taking notice of the way he averted his eyes and the small colour dusting his cheeks, chuckling lightly i walked towards the mirrors and put on my dry shirt to cover myself. Walking up to the cell what i took notice of was how Beth was, i could parctically feel the bad mojo floating off of her i walked towards Maggie "what's up with Beth?" i asked "i don't know...i think it's her time of the month or something, you're really close to her right? Why don't you go try to calm her down?" she asked "but you're even closer to her, you're her sister" i reasoned "that's the point, i'm her sister shes probably kill me if i went over there" she joked. I nodded walking over to Beth.

Beth crossed her amrs over her chest and scowled at me "what do you want?" she asked "are you okay?" i asked back "do i look ok?" she replied sarcastically "no...not really" i answered honestly "well there you go" she rolled her eyes. I gave her a look  a mother would give their child to stop them from misbehaving "where were you anyway? And why are you soaked? Did you go off crying again?m" she asked, i narrowed my eyes "still sad about mummy and daddy?" she cooed in a baby voice. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped, silence filled the room "what was that?" i asked trhough a clenched jaw "stop whining as if you expect people to care geez, even Carl liked me" she smirked. I clenched my fist "even you're own brother hated you" she hissed, i glared at her through the tears that brimmed in my eyes "there you go again crying like a whiney baby!" she laughed dryly "Beth that it enough!" Hershel yelled sternly "no dad! She needs to learn not to go crying to everyone like a child" she spat "if you hadn't noticed i am a child" i replied as calmly as i could.

Beth narrowed her eyes at me "don't talk back, didn't you parents ever tell you not to disrespect your elders?" she asked before laughing "oh that's right...they died before they could teach you everything" she finished "shut up" i whispered "what was that?" she asked "i said...SHUT UP!!!" i yelled. Beth's eyes widened when she lifted her hand up bringing down harshly on my cheek "don't talk to me that way!" she yelled. My head turned to the side from impact with a forming red mark on my cheek, Hershel stepped in grabbing Beth's arm giving him a look to which he nodded opening the holding cell where Michonned still sat watching everything and sat her in there "you will sit in here till you think about what you done and until (Y/N) is ready to forgive you, i did not raise you like this! I am very disappointed in you" he scolded limping out in his crutches sending me a sad and pity filled glance. Rick locked the cell door ignoring Beth's whines.

I lifted my hand to gently brush the red mark with a wince, the tears flowing slowly down my cheek i cringed as my salty tears flowed over the mark that would probably bruise, who knew Beth was so strng 'what's gotten into her?' i thought. Carl ran over gently pushing my hair out of the way to get a good look, as carefully as he could he brushed the tears away "that was so unlike Beth...i have no idea what her problem is but you have to know what she said is not true at all, Nikolai didn't hate you..." he whispered. I nodded sniffing "(Y/N) come, let me take a look at that mark" Carol said, i walked towards her and let her inspect it Hershel doing the same "it looks like it might bruise, i'm so sorry for Beth it's like she's a completely different person" Hershel apologized "it's not your fault" i replied in a whisper "you should get some rest, eat something" Carol advised "it's fine i'm not hungry" i lied walking towards my cell "would you like me to go with you?" Carl asked "thanks but i just want to be alone for a little bit" i replied with a small smile, Carl nodded in understanding.

I shut my cell door and the blanket coving it, i laid down on my side on the bed and looked to my headstand where there sat a picture of my family, me, my father in his army outfit and my mother stroking her oversized belly. I sniffed with a sad smile the tears crossing over my face from gravity, i closed my eyes unintentionally forcing more tears out 'everyone's right...that wasn't like Beth at all...why would she do that? It's more then just that time of the month what on Earth has gotten into her?' i thought to myself. Laying a hand on my stomach i ignored the rumbling and stroked it trying to ease the hunger pains and forcing myself to sleep.