Let Me Love You Again

Prologue

I heard her sigh on the other end of the phone. I couldn't help the emotional feelings that washed over me as i heard her angelic voice. The last time we spoke, I was eighteen years old, the last summer we shared together before she left for Columbia University.

"Deanney...?" She asked with a curious tone. I smiled as I walked back and forth in my backyard, Alexis staring at me from the porch steps. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I opened my mouth to answer.

"Hey... Jessica." I sounded as if I had been caught doing a crime. I ran a hand through my hair as i once again paced in the grass.

"It's been three years since we last talked, hasn't it?" She asked firstly. 'Well.. Actually three years 5 months and 23 days... but who's counting?'

"Yeah, been a long time eh?" I laughed jokingly. I looked over at Alexis who had a smile on her sun touched face. I was so nervous, probably more nervous than I have ever been in my life.

"Sure has. Too long. How did you get my new number though?" She had a slightly amused tone. I smiled as I pictured her gorgeous smile grazing her lips.

"Your sister gave it to me. I ran into her at the mall the other day. She just graduated didn't she?" I asked, now feeling better as we began to start a somewhat smooth conversation.

"That makes sense now." She laughed and felt like I was going to die right there on the spot, "Yeah, I was supposed to go, but i couldn't get away from work and plus i had finals. So, we're going to celebrate when my summer starts. She's coming to New York with my mom in a few weeks." She said easily. I bit my cheek in nervousness again.

"That's cool." Was all I was able to say.

"Yeah... it is." She said in the same tone I used. The only thing going through my mind as I paced the grass was... was she having a hard time talking to me as I was talking to her? 'Most likely not... she probably has a new girlfriend and happy as can be...' "So..." She broke my train of thought, "What's been up with you? Nothing's wrong right?"

"Why would something be wrong?" I asked, my turn to be curious. I heard her sigh once again as she more likely moved the phone to her other ear. I took a seat on the swinging chair as I gave Alexis a sad look.

"Uhm, well. We don't talk. At all anymore... we haven't..." She trailed off though.

"Since the day you left? I know that..." Once again, a sigh escaped her mouth.

"Why not?"

"Why not what?" I asked her as i stared at my shoes rubbing a line into the grass.

"Why haven't we talked? I've sent you e-mails over the years and even added you on facebook. You never added me back though..." I bit my lip as i remembered her name popping up on facebook.

"Jessica..." I sighed now as i placed my head on my hand.

"It's okay, Dey." I almost cried on the spot at my old nickname that only she used..."You don't need to answer that if you don't want to. I think I understand why anyway." She gave a sad laugh, one that tore at my chest.

"I'm sorry that I called you. I'll go. Bye... Jes." Cringing at the old memories that came up when the nicknames were said. Before she could respond though, I ended the call and threw my cell phone as hard as I could into the grass. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I curled up under my knees on the swing.

I cried even more when i felt Alexis's arms wrap around me, her head laying upon mine.

"Oh Deanney..." She said as she rubbed my arms. I closed my eyes then looked up to her, a sympathetic look on her face. I swallowed the lump in my throat as i tried to speak.

"I guess it was a mistake to call her. I can't handle talking to her, Alexis. It hurts too much..." She shhed me as she repeated the whole 'I know I know.' thing. But, she didn't know at all. She had no idea what i was going through. I sighed as I forced myself to get a grip.

"Everything will work out, right?" She said more than asked. I gave her a smile as I leaned back against the chair, forcing her to move away slightly. Before I could answer though, I heard my ringtone go off letting me know I had just received a text message. I looked at Alexis as her brows connected and picked it up, a startled yet smiling look on her face.

"What? Who is it?" I asked as if I was completely clueless to who it might be. She faced the phone to me, still smiling. It was a text from the number I had called Jessica from. I felt my nerves skyrocket as I grabbed the phone from Alexis. I clicked, open message and read the extremely long text.

Dey..;

That hurt a lot, you hanging up like that. Though I understand why you did it. You're hurting, right? At least, I hope you aren't. Though... if you were I know how you feel... but I guess that doesn't really matter. I just want you to know, that I loved talking to you more than it may have seemed. I've missed you, more than you'll ever know... so... talk to me only if you want to, but text me back with answer please?

-yours always, Jes--

Did she mean that the way... i think she meant it?

"What did it say?" Alexis asked as she tried to read it. I leaned back from her as i hit the reply button.

Je..

I want to...

-also yours always, Dey.

I smiled as i closed my phone, looking at a rather confused Alexis.

"Well?" She asked as she crossed her arms. All I did was smile.