Let Me Love You Again

Chapter 9: I'm in love with Her

"God... I only have a few minutes before class starts." I ran, like literally ran to our first class. As I burst through the door, out of breath, Jessica looked at me with a strange face. I walked over to her desk, ignoring the interested looks I was getting from the almost full class. "Get up, grab your bag."

"What do you think you're doing, Miss Miller?" The teacher asked as he walked in the door. I looked at the clock to see it was almost time for class. I looked back to Jessica with urgency. She passed Melanie a glance before looking back up to me.

"Why should I?" She asked with a pissed off tone. I sighed a very frustrated sigh as I grabbed her books, against her wishes, and threw them in her book bag.

"Deanney! What the hell do you think you're doing?" She nearly screamed as I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the classroom. The teacher came rushing out, calling out detentions for the both of us. I didn't care though; all I gave a fuck about was finally telling Jessica how I felt too. We ran passed the schools pathetic attempt of security and out to the bus stop. I held onto her hand as I waited impatiently for the eight am bus to show up. "What the hell is your problem?" I looked back at her and smiled, catching her off-guard.

"Shhhh." Was all I said. She tried to pull her hand away from mine, but I held stronger. In my heart, I knew she wasn't really pulling anyway. It was as if she was just doing it to spite me for what I've put her through that past month. I didn't blame her at all for it.

The bus finally showed and I paid for both our fair as we boarded. I dragged her to the back and sat down, looking up at her as I let go of her hand, smiling at her. She sighed as she sat down next to me, but making sure we weren't touching.

"There's nothing wrong... right? Like Alexis or Joel aren't in the hospital right? Oh my god... did your mom get in a wreck?!" She asked in a terrified voice. Leave it to Jessica to still care about my family even when she's extremely upset with me. I couldn't help but smile.

"They're fine. There's nothing wrong. At least not really anyway." I answered her. I could see she was agitated. When she was nervous or flustered, she would play with her jackets zipper; sliding it up and down as if she was a little kid again.

"I don't understand then. You go almost an entire month with ignoring me... why are you now going at lengths to talk?" She turned to face me as I leaned my head against the bus's window to see if we were at my stop yet. I looked at her and sighed.

"I know, and I promise, if you hear me out... you'll understand everything." I said honestly. She eyed me.

"Fine..." She pouted as she continued to zip up her jacket. My emotions were going haywire. My brain was yelling at me to stop, don't tell what I was about to tell her.

It was telling me that if I do this, there was no going back. But another, and much bigger part, was telling me it was okay. That this is supposed to be how it is because, we're best friends. Because we connect on a much higher level than best friends should. That part was telling me that it was okay. The funny thing was... I didn't even really register that all these feelings were to a girl. What I realized back then, was that I was more terrified at the fact that I had fallen in love with my best friend.
"Deanney?"

"Yes?" I answered as I looked over to her. She was biting her lip, but not looking at me as she stared at her hand moving up and down with the zipper.

"We're ditching school..." I couldn't help but laugh at how it took her that long to realize that. Jessica is a four point o student. If I can remember correctly... I think that was literally the only day, aside for our anniversaries, that she'd miss school.

"I know. Come on," I said as I motioned for her to get up. "We're here." She looked at me with a confused expression. As we exited the bus, we walked down my neighbourhood's main street, heading to obviously my own.

"Why are we going to your house...?" She curiously asked.

"You ask so many questions, Jessy." I stated. She just huffed as she fixed her purse on her shoulder. "Well, maybe... if you'd answer some of them, I wouldn't have so many!"

"No... you'd still ask just as much, probably even more if I did answer them." I said as I turned around, walking backwards with a smile on my face. She looked up at me, and let me tell you... if looks could kill... boy, I'd be six feet under.

"Yeah... whatever..." She mumbled under her breath, thinking I couldn't hear her. I just smiled again and took my keys out as we walked up to the front path. I told her to go to my room and wait for me as I got us some bottled water. She just murmured to herself again and trudged onward down the hallway. I remember trying to calm myself down as I walked to my bedroom. I'd doing that whole, count to ten bullshit, yeah... it never worked.

When I walked inside, she was sitting on my bed, playing with her zipper again.

"What's wrong?" I asked her as I offered her the bottle. She looked at me and did one her fake smiles again.

"Nothing, can you tell me what's going on now?" She asked as she placed the water aside. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I sat down next to her.
In my mind, I couldn't figure out how exactly I'd tell her. Do I just come out and say it? Do I write it down and have her read it? Then, a huge smile came on my face as I looked at her. Her eyebrow rose as she looked at me.
"What...?" I just rolled my eyes, turned completely towards, took a breath, and placed my hands on her cheek. At first, she tensed up, probably scared what I'd do. I watched her though as I leaned my head down to hers. Her body relaxed completely and her eyes began to close. And well, that's when I titled my head down to hers and kissed Jessica Faye, my best friend.

We made out on my bed for, seriously, hours. No talking at all. Even when I first kissed her, she didn't pull apart asking me if it was alright or if I had lost my mind. Instead, her hands found their way into my hair and pulled me closer. At that moment, I felt my insides melt and my chest explode.

After that, it just happened. I don't even think one of us even asked the other one out. I believe we both had a mutual agreement on our... well our relationship.
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"What are you thinking about?" Her voice asked, shaking the memories away from me. I shook my head as I focused back on the phone conversation.

"How we got together." I laughed. She laughed as well as I watched the little kids run around the playground, recess.

"Ah... I remember that so well." She continued to laugh. "How's work?"

"It's okay, I'm really tired though." I teased her. I heard her gasp and couldn't help the smile that appeared.

"I'm tired too, you wore me out..." She teased me as well. I closed my eyes as the images of our first night after 3 years and 6 months of being apart.

"I guess... I was making up for lost time..." I said seriously, waiting to see what she'd say to that. I heard a breath go in and out.

"We have forever for that, Dey."