Anxiety

Chapter Sixteen

"What do you want to do once you leave school?" Jung-guk asks, fingers drawing lazy patterns onto my shoulder. I shift around slightly, drawing circles onto his bare abs as I think over the question.

"More schooling," I say, "go off to college, hopefully on a scholarship," Jung-guk hums, fingers moving to run through my hair, "I've always been fond of biology, the human body mostly," I say, eyes unfocusing on their target, drifting off into my mind, "nursing, I just don't know what yet, maybe neurological?"

"I can see that, the way you focus on school is so...attentive," Jung-guk comments, "Drew had told me you were always closed off, barely went anywhere outside of school, always focused on your school work," I shift around so I can refocus my eyes, "I'm glad I could break you out of your shell,"

"Me too," I whisper, looking up at him before istting up, "before, I was so scared of the world, of leaving my house. Jackson had elft me terrified, as did the death of my brother and Dad," I say, "It was all so damn overwhelming that I just thought bottling everything up and closing myself off would be the best solution. That if I got into a good school, and was able tog et a good career I would be able to make them proud. I enevr realized I was making myself worse as I isolated myself. I like being alone, I like not having company. Being alone allows me to be the real me, the unhappy, the upset, the broken me. I never showed anyone the real me, Drew maybe," I let out a dry chuckle, "Dad was the only one who truly saw me, who saw the potential I had in so many thigns. He pushed me to be my best, he pushed all of us to be our bests. Tyler was going to take over the business for him, he told him that he would," I smile softly, eyes flicking back into focus briefly, "My future was based on making them proud, not making me happy. So I threw it all away to become a shell of myself. I was in a really bad state when you came here, no one knew how bad it gotten. You kept me from goig inot my attacks, you kept me sane,"

"I will do it over and over again," Jung-guk says, leaning forward to kiss my forehead, "I will do it everyday," he kisses my nose, "and I will never let you go too far," he kisses my lips soflty.

"Thank you," I whisper, pressing my lips against his harder. He hums, pulling me closer. The lights cut out, my eyes snapping open as they do, "what the hell?" I whisper, eyes darting around the now dark room. I grab a flashlight, turning it on. Jung-guk gets out of the bed, grabbing my hand. I grab my phone, using it's flashlight as I press into Jung-guk's back, following him out of the bedroom.

"Max! Drew!" Jung-guk yells.

"Here," Max calls back, "everything is out," we follow his voice into the living room, candles having been set up so we can all see. Drew pulls me onot the couch, pulling me inot his side.

"This asshole has gotten fucking nuts," Drew grumbles, "we should call the cops," he suggests, Max nodding his head.

"Fuck, no service," he growls, "you?" Jung-guk saheks his head, eyes locked onto me. The lights go back on, the back door opened.

"I was going to scare all of you," Jackson says, body relaxed as he leans against the doorway to the kitchen, "but then I've realized how quick you were to come to her aid," I get off the couch, moving around so he can see me, "hey," he whispers, eyes locked onto mine.

"Jackson, why did you hit my car?" I question, voice soft. Jackson looks to the ground, pushing his shoulders up into a shrug.

"I got angry, snapped," he whispers, "I didn't mean to, I really didn't. I've been getting help," he sighs, "but seeing you with him, I don't know,"

"The text you sent to Drew?" I press, his eyes napping to Drew's before mine, those dark eyes filled with confusion, "you didn't send it, did you?"

"No, I don't even have his number," Jackson says, "what did it say?"

"Doesn't matter," I say, "why did you follow me here?" Jackson sighs again, "Jackson, why are you still obsessing over me?"

"I don't know," he whispers, "I realized everything I've done to you. Keeping you from going to your Dad's funeral, Tyler's funeral. Beating you. I can't say I don't know why I did that, I can't. My Dad had this disorder, an obessession disorder. I have it too, so I got upset when you wanted to leave me," he sighs, running a hand through his hair, "but now I see you, happy, and I can't help but feel that- I am happy that you're happy. I know I will never be able to make you happy, and I've accepted that. I asked Mom to move, take me to a better hospital that can help me more in depth. I hope you have a good Christmas Thea, please don't go back into your shell. I hate what I did to you," he pushes away form the wall, all three males moving closer to me, "I'm sorry, I know it won't count for much, but I am sorry for all that I've done to you,"

"Thank you Jackson," I say. He nods, leaving the cabin, closing the door behind him. I keep my eyes trained on the door, mind racing. I slowly turn towards the others, moving closer to Jung-guk. He wraps his arms around me, setting his head on top of mine.

"Do you believe him?" Drew asks, moving closer to Max. I pull away from Jung-guk, looking at Drew.

"I do, I believe him enough," I say.

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I flop down onto my bed, giggling as Prince jumps onto it, licking my face once before curling up. I sit up as the door opens, Mom walking into the room.

"Mrs. Parker just put her house up for sale," she says, "did you know this would happen?" I hum, a soft smile on my lips, "apparently, Jackson is moving to another site for more treatment, turned himself in last night,"

"Good," I whisper, "he needs to get better. I won't be dropping the charges Mom, don't worry," a look of reiled floods her face, her smile being lifted again.

"Good," I hum, watching her leave. I grab my phone, answering the call.

"I have some bad news," Jung-guk sighs, "My parents want me back for Christmas, I'm leaving tonight," he says.

"No, not fair," I whine, Jung-guk chuckling, "how long will you be gone?"

"A week, can you be away from me for that long?" he teases.

"Totally, I can hang with the other Korean I know," I giggle, throwing some back at him, "I have a safe flight, I love you," I say, eyes widening at the fact I said those words.

"I love you too Thea Salvatore," he hums, content with those words. I smile, pulling the phone away from my face, a picture of the three of us appearing on the screen. I lock the phone tossing it away from me as I place my head onto Prince, a soft, breathy laugh leaving my lips. I ruffle his ears, kissing his head before moving back onto his body.

"I'm back Prince, I'm finally back," I whisper, "and I am not going anywhere,"