Bepannah | Jenshad

right move |Chapter 06

Jennifer has always been sensitive-to touch, towards people, towards matters important to her. She has been the more emotional, more full of life, with all the things extravagant - then be that her heart or her celebration. She always has been full of everything - the universe, life and love. Someone who has given and given without expecting anything. And that is one of the many things that Harshad has always admired about her. Her share of trusting others and spreading her warmth.

The warmth he has not witnessed for some time now - probably years and when he meet her yesterday, when after three years he got to see her and not on the screen anymore, but see her two feet away from him. He was happy. Excited, he felt at peace knowing she is alive, she is breathing and she is happy. Atleast, that was what he thought when he saw her in the living room.

He knew she was alive, he did indeed but there is a difference, a huge difference of seeing her on tv screen and watching her, looking at her at arms length. And he must say she has become more beautiful, more woman like. And it's not surprising at all.

Because for Harshad, Jennifer has been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, from her warm and  innocent  hazel eyes, to her dark luscious hair which she has cut short now but still have that same texture, her angelic face - the only way he has ever described her because he feels other words do her injustice. So yes, he wasn't surprised at her grown beauty but he wasn't at extreme peace as he thought he would be when he will meet her again.

There was something off, something unnervingly alarming with her. Something he can't pinpoint at, something he thinks he is making up out of his pure protectiveness. Because he has been, always has been protective about her. Wanted to shield her from all the hurt, the pain in the world but ended up being the only reason to hurt her.

However much he wants to believe she went away to achieve her dreams, his mind wouldn't let him believe that. As much as he would believe she had forgiven him for his short comings, his mind wouldn't let him believe. Because the load of his mistakes hasn't got off him yet and the guilt for his crimes is something he would bear for years to come.

And he is okay with that, has come to accept that because he did hurt her, he hurt the one person he promised he would never.

But last night he had hope, he had been in peace to see her move on, to see her become something she had desired to be all along, to become the beautiful woman that she is, to have all the dreams she had set to achieve, to be the same old Jenny he had missed dearly.

Yet, she wasn't. No she wasn't the new Jennifer, didn't look the peaceful one either when she suddenly ran out on him. And he can't help but think it's his fault, can't help but think he should have apologized at the start, should have made things clear even though he knows he can't get out-can't excuse himself out of his mistakes. But to watch her run away like that, it didn't set well with him.

He is brought out of his musings, of his thinking by a pair of arms around his shoulder "Don't you think Jennifer is still uncomfortable with us?"

Harshad looks up, looks at Alia who has a pout on her lips and he knows she remembers well how inconvenient it was for Jennifer to see them together but she was the one who introduced them, didn't she? She was her friend, wasn't she? Then how come she would be affected by them, uncomfortable by them he thinks.

"No, I don't think so. She was the one who introduced us" he said shaking his head, because if that was the case she would have told him, would have made him known clearly but she didn't, so that is not a possiblity he would like to address.

"You don't think so? Things have been rocky between the two of you the moment I came in" and Harshad shakes his head because Alia can't possibly thing that, can't blame herself for his mistakes. No, he didn't kept his friendship, he failed being a bestfriend. It was all him and Alia wasn't the reason.