CALVIN

six: the gay room

"Nikita told Denis to tell me to tell you that," Ehsan took a deep breath, "we're going to Zurich."

"I'm not going to Zurich," I said. I was sat at my desk. Ehsan was in my doorway.

"Nikita told Denis to tell me to tell you that they knew you were going to say that, but that we're all going to Zurich anyways and they're going to make you drink until you pass out."

"I'm not going to Zurich," I said. "I'm not drinking and I'm not celebrating Nikita's birthday."

"Nikita wants you to celebrate his birthday with him."

"I'd rather not, to be honest."

Ehsan stared at me for a second as he stood there. Then, quite awkwardly, he turned and walked down the hallway in silence.

"Ehsan, wait," I said painfully. He reappeared in my doorway. "Will Nikita pay for everything?"

"Nikita said he is more than happy to pay for everything."

"The train, too?"

"Nikita said we'll be taking a taxi."

"Who's going?"

"Just us."

"Who's us?"

"Just our house."

"Hmph."

"I'll tell him you're coming."

"Wait!" I said, just as he was about to leave. I paused. Then I gave in. "Fine."

...

Zurich is one of those cities that you're really excited about until you get there and then you realize everything is super expensive and you don't have the right currency and every pedestrian is tall and beautiful. It was a perfect place for Nikita and Schneider, who were tall, beautiful and wealthy Europeans at heart. I just felt a little out of place. It seemed like Patrick did, too. And Ehsan was just out of place no matter where he went. 

"Who was that?" I asked Patrick, as we walked down the cobblestone bridge which ran across the river. "The twat you were kissing in clubhaus."

"You can't just call everyone you fear is taking your place a twat, Elias."

"I'll call whomever whatever I please."

"It was Louisa."

"What!" I laughed incredulously. "Holy shit. Mate."

"Stop."

"You guys are going to have these freaky genius babies. They're going to run around the house reciting pi and Einstein's gravitational law, or whatever."

"It was just a drunk thing," he assured. 

"Was it?" I asked, cocking my head to the side and furrowing my brow. "Was it really?"

Ahead, Nikita let out a burst of triumphant laughter. "Guys!" he said. "They just sent a text that we got into the VIP section of the club!" the boys did a little jig across the bridge.

...

"Sucks that Leon didn't come," Denis said, sitting at a tiny LED-lit table. He'd done about six shots two minutes upon arriving at the La Nova club, downtown Zurich.

"No," I said. "No, it really doesn't."

"Stupid Maria," Jesus said. "Always taking up Leon's Saturdays with her stupid vagina."

"STUPID VAGINAS!" yelled Denis, standing up abruptly, holding his gin tonic in the air. He downed it quickly.

"Denis, aren't you Muslim?" I asked, as he sat down again.