The Feelings (The Series #2)

Chapter 21

Painful — Chapter 21

I blinked.

Two times.

No. A couple of times.

My lips parted, as I continue to stare at him. "Seryoso ka ba?" was my reply.

He nodded. Parang bumilis ang takbo ng puso ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala... Ganon na 'yon? Pagkatapos ng lahat na na-plano namin ni Ares, hahantong lang rin pala rito. Seryoso nga ba talaga siya?

"So... wala ka na palang gusto kay Blanche..." sambit ko.

He bit his lips. "Can't we just not let Blanche in to this topic? Because it's not about her... It's about us, Xavierre," he said so seriously.

I might hyperventilate anytime now.

I was about to say something, but I can't release the words from my mouth. I was too shocked because of his revelation. Parang naninibago ako. This is new. This is rare.

Noon, ako ang nagkagusto sa kanya. Ngayon... siya na.

"E, kasi naman... Umabot tayo sa ganito nang dahil lang rin kay Blanche..." I coyly replied. I tried avoiding his gaze, pero nagagawa niya pa rin akong titigan. Ano ba, Ares. Natutunaw na talaga ako, e. 'Wag kang ganyan.

He sighed. "Xavierre, my feelings changed back then when we got really closer together," he uttered, and I can feel the sincerity. "And that's why I regretted for not mutually exchanging the feeling you gave me back when we're in 8th grade." He took both of my hands, and held to it like it's the most fragile thing in his life. "I like you, Xavierre Hazel Atienza. Please, date me."

'Di ko na talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko. Siya na talaga ang nagsasabi, e! Pero 'di pa ako sigurado. 'Di pa ako handa. Kaya ko kaya? With him? I don't know.

Ares, you idiot, you're making this really hard.

I pressed my lips, to not utter anything. But I just really need to tell him.

I also sighed. "Hindi pa ako pwedeng mag-boyfriend," was my reply. And his lips parted in disbelief.

* * *

May parte sa katawan ko na pumipigil sa akin na bumangon. It was Monday morning again—may pasok na ulit. Parang hindi ko pa siya kayang harapin. It was really awkward. Hindi nga ako makapaniwala na gano'n na pala. Na may nararamdaman na siyang gano'n.

Paano ko na siya haharapin ngayon?

The hindi pa ako pwedeng mag-boyfriend excuse was totally fucked up. Hindi talaga siya mapapaniwala doon. Well, that excuse was kind of true. I would be totally killed by my Dad kapag malaman niyang nagboboyfriend na pala ako. I just don't want him to be disappointed at me.

Wala na akong choice. Mas nagawa kong bumangon mula sa kama at dumiretso na pababa. Nang makarating ako sa dining area, naabutan ko si Mom na may inaasikasong papeles. She looks serious though.

"You look busy early in the morning, Mom..." I commented.

"It's just really important, anak," sabi niya na hindi nakatingin sa akin.

"Para saan po ba 'yan?" I asked.

"Hmm. Papers for my flight," she answered.

I sighed. "Aalis ka nanaman po ba?"

"Unfortunately, yes... Your Tita Cath really needs guidance. Walang mag-aalaga sa kanya 'dun. Her sickness is now worsening," she stated. Kahit sister-in-law lang ni Tita Cath itong si Mom, they really treated each other as best friends. Paano ba naman, kahit noong hindi pa magkakilala si Mom at Dad, magkasama na sila ni Tita Cath. Siguro nga, dahil kay Tita Cath, nagkakilala sina Mom at si Dad.