Perspective

32- Babe

"Guys, I can't do this," I announce, looking at myself in the mirror.

"What?!" Jess and Aspen both whip around to look at me. "Girl, we got this far. Why do you want to back out, now?"

I tug on the bikini straps. "I feel so....exposed."

My boobs look decent and my ass looks okay, but my stomach looks terrible. It looks like I'm at least 6 months pregnant. With twins.

"Plus," I turn slightly to look at other angles of myself, "Asher's out there and I don't want to look like a washed up whale in front of him."

"Bitch, you look amazing. Just get your ass out there. If Asher thinks you look like a washed up whale, then he's blind." Aspen tries to encourage me.

I take a deep breath and flex my stomach so that I look a lot better.

Now if I can keep this up, I'll be fine.

Jess pokes me in the side making me squeal in surprise.

"Come on," Aspen swings her arm around my shoulders we start to leave the locker room.

I freeze just in front of the door. "I need to pee."

Aspen drops her arm back to her side. "We'll wait."

"No no, go ahead. I'll join you guys in a minute," I lie.

"Are you sure?" Jess asks sounding a bit suspicious.

"Positive!" I say a little too loudly.

My best friends give me weird looks but leave.

I feel naked, fat, and ugly.

I can't believe I thought I would look good walking around in a bikini.

I'm so fucking dumb.

The door opens.

"Go away Aspen, I'm not doing this," I say.

"It's Asher," The person says.

I run into the little changing section and pull the curtain closed.

"What are you doing in here? It's the girls' room," I question. It's empty, but still.

"So what? I don't care about that right now," He says from the other side of the curtain. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I lie. "I'm fine."

"No you're not," Asher says. He yanks open the curtain just as I squeeze my eyes shut.

I slowly open one of my eyes and then the other.

Asher's blue eyes are dark and his lips are pressed together.

"You look beautiful," He tells me.

No I don't, he's just saying that to make me feel better.

"But you also look really uncomfortable," Asher continues.

That's a true statement.