Jagi ♡ OT7/Reader FF ♡ Complete ♡

Chapter Nineteen (2/2)

Yoongi.

"You killed her? How hyung? How did it happen?" Taehyung looked pained and this didn't surprise me, he always was the more sensitive one of our group.

"I need a drink for this." I force out a laugh, not really one of amusement but nerves. I can't even remember the last time I spoke about this....about her.

"Do the rest know?" Taehyung added as my back was turned causing me to halt my search of the kitchen for something alcoholic.

"No, only Namjoon." I opened the last cupboard and a bitter taste filled my mouth upon finding it empty, I was going to have to do this without the assistance of alcohol. 

"Her name was Lilly, she was a foreign exchange student. I remember the day we met, I'll never forget it." I smiled, bracing the kitchen counter behind me with both hands as I tried my best to tell our tragic tale.  

"I just wrapped up a reconnaissance mission and was heading back to the warehouse, she was leaving this 24/7 market deli where she worked weekends and we sort of....collided." I laughed, a genuine one this time. "I was sending a message to Jungkook and she was daydreaming and we didn't see the other until the last possible minute, she was so beautiful and I was instantly attracted to her. I don't know what it was, maybe her innocence or maybe the way she looked at me....it was pretty damn obvious she was attracted to me too." I allowed myself to think back, remembering the moment her striking emerald eyes met mine and how my heart actually skipped a few beats.

"She had the most beautiful eyes, emerald with these little specks of brown and her lips....."  I absentmindedly brushed my fingers over my own lips at the memory. "....they were almost a red colour, the cupids bow so pronounced. I remember thinking, damn this woman is beautiful."  I laughed as my eyes moved over to Taehyung, he was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed and a genuine smile forming at my words.

"I knew nothing could happen, she was too innocent and didn't deserve to be placed in danger. I didn't want anything bad happening to her so I told myself to walk away and never look back but after that day I was whipped, like....big time whipped."

Taehyung laughed but didn't say anything more in response, his head lowered and I noticed him pulling at the loose cushion threads. "I know that feeling." He mumbled, breaking the silence that stretched out between us.

"There's something about Y/N that drives me crazy, she's not the most beautiful woman I've met but I've never been more attracted to someone in my life hyung. I love her zest for life, how she's not afraid to say what's on her mind. I love the fire she has, her passion and dedication. I feel like everything she is on the inside shines through and makes what's on the outside even more beautiful.....does that even make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense Taehyung, there's many ways for a person to be deemed beautiful and it's not always about what's on the outside, it's the entire package that counts."

"So I'm guessing you couldn't stay away from her?" Taehyung asked with a smile, he already knew the answer to that.

"No......I tried but couldn't. I was drawn to her like a moth to the most beautiful of flames, I couldn't tell her the truth about me so I fed her lies about my job and of course couldn't tell her my real name but everything else that happened between us over those next twelve months was real....so fucking real. I fell in love with her, she understood me and even though it killed me to keep parts of my life and identify secret it was the happiest year of my life. I wasn't Suga anymore, I was Min Yoongi. I kept it hidden from the organization and the rest of you, I felt guilty for not telling our group but only did it to keep her safe. I thought everything could work out, I was convinced that I could do both.....I could be suga and then I could come home to Lilly and be Min Yoongi but I was stupid and incredibly naive to believe such things. The organization found out and punished me in the worst possible way, I didn't even see it coming." I swallowed the lump in my throat, this was the part which haunted me.

"Hyung, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready?"

"No, it's okay Taehyung....it's about time I spoke to someone about this." I noticed Taehyung had moved the cushion over his chest, two long arms wrapped around it as if he was attempting to shield himself from my confession.

"I was given a job, asked to interrogate a traitor of the organization. I was informed the man was bound and gagged and was told to torture him until I received word from them to stop. I arrived at the warehouse where they were keeping him, something didn't feel right but I told myself to just do my job and then go home to Lilly. I still remember it, the way my stomach rolled over when I walked in to see the guy strapped to a chair with a bag over his head.....arms and legs chained. I remember his clothes, they were these baggy work overalls covered in blood and he was afraid....he was trembling and kept trying to mumble something but it wasn't my place to ask questions so I just got to work." My voice broke, I hadn't said this aloud to anyone before but I wanted Taehyung to see....to see how dangerous it was for him to love someone like Y/N.

"I did so much fucked up shit to him.....I broke his gloved fingers one by one and didn't even flinch when his muffled screams filled the silence. I drilled holes.....fuck...." I gasped for breath as the sobs came, I knew talking about this would hurt but this was tearing me apart. I flinched as Taehyung touched my shoulder, I didn't even notice him moving from the couch.

"Hyung you can stop, please don't say anymore if this hurts you."

"No, you need to know Taehyung....you need to see why Namjoon sent you away and why you should stay away from Y/N." I fought my emotions, moving away from Taehyung and approaching the window.

"I tortured him for almost an hour, the organization finally sent a message and told me to stop....remove the bag and face the organization traitor." I focused on the lights of Tokyo, watching as the people below enjoyed their evening.....oblivious to my pain. "It wasn't a man Taehyung, there was a reason the person was wearing gloves and baggy clothes. It was Lilly Taehyung....I mutilated my girl, I broke her bones and cut her flesh for an hour and ignored her screams. The organization sent me a message that day and that's to not fuck with them and follow their rules, Namjoon tried to reason with them and stop it from happening but they didn't listen." The world below blurred, a hazy canvas of neons as my tears fell.

"That's why Namjoon sent you away, that's why I'm finally telling you my story because we don't want the same happening to you and Y/N. Promise me Taehyung, promise me you won't see her again....don't make my mistakes." I finally turned to face Taehyung, his body shaking as he lost control of his emotions.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you hyung, I'm so so sorry."

"I'm sorry too Taehyung....you have no idea how much."