BEFORE DAWN

chapter twenty-one

My world...
Crashed...

Nathan kept going on and on about how i had messed up the whole thing and how it would be difficult to get out of the situation now. All i kept thinking of was the sadness and betrayal in my munchkins eyes as I told her I was her dad.. she won never look at me the same way again..

How has things turn out this way..i thought I had everything in control, I couldn't even make my own blood love me.
Yet again..no love.

' I have to see her'.i sigh
' are you even listening to me, you want to see her? How about thinking of a way out of this mess first'. Nathan was frustrated, I really didn't blame him.

'Why do you even care, I have lost it all'. I let the shame and guilt eat me up.
' I promised to help you out lawerent and I'll do just that...you probably don't deserve any help but I could see right through this wall you are trying to build up, you aren't as strong as you think so if I were you...ill start by fixing myself'. He got up
'And maybe..just maybe you can patch things up with your daughter '.
He left.

This was it then?..this was where he gives up and accept life as unfair as it is to him...all he wanted was a connection between the both of them..for her not to hate him like her mother did..
For her not to end up in misery like he did.. for her not to feel unloved as he did.

Now he had nothing left , nothing to call his own , nothing to love.
Everything fell so soon ,he had no time to regain his consciousness.
Nathan's words kept filling his mind....

'Try fixing your self first and maybe ..maybe you will patch things up with your daughter'.

But how? How does he start repairing broken hearts and healing wounds he had carried for years.... how?

All he wanted was love...to be loved..to love..to feel accepted...

To hold his own in his arms ..to feel responsible for someone's happiness...
How hard could that be?...

Dora's  pov:

I couldn't even bare to look at her face, every fibre in me hated lawerent the more. How could he?How could he lie to my daughter and deceive her likes it's a normal thing to do.
No one deserved such treatment ,if only I could take back time to when I first met him...i  would never have chosen this life with him in it.

Every bone in my body aches to be with her,but I knew she wanted space. I could heat her sob son in her room as I stood by her door. It was difficult to listen to her moan in pain.
'Let's go in' Jaden took her hand,leading her away from the door.

Dora sat on the bed holding chimamanda's baby pictures on her lap.
' she shouldn't be going through this Jaden, she shouldn't be the one suffering. I am the one that started this ..im the one that is supposed to be in tears not my baby girl. She knows nothing about this ...she doesn't deserve such a father .' She sobbed.

' and you don't deserve this pain either, No one does ..so please calm down. I believe everything will be fine soon.'
Dora looked up to him,
' I dont know what it feels like but I promise you that I'm here with you..always.' he assured her.

The next morning was as silent as the devious night, everyone was on edge at the dinning table. Dora itches to talk to her daughter but chimamanda wasn't looking at anyone.
' thank you for the food' she got up and walked upstairs.
Dora turned to Jaden, he squeezed her hand.
'I will talk to her Okay?'. Jaden got up.
He wasn't sure what to say to chimamanda, he considered her his own and loved her to bits but this was a different case all together. He stood outside her door before knocking.
' who is It?' He could hear her sob.
' daddy, may I come in hunny?'
She was quiet. He prayed silently.
The door opened revealing a swollen eyed girl, she flew into his arms, her sobs louder than before.
'It's going to be okay princess, I'm here with you '. Jaden patted her on the back, taking her into the room.
' why is this happening daddy. I have been a good girl or have I Not?' She stared at him.
He looked away, he couldn't bare to see her in pain.
' I'm I really a mistake ?' She sobbed on.
Jaden cupped her face it both hands, 'you are never at fault and can never be a mistake baby. Your father is at loss here not you...you are the most valuable asset to me and your mommy. '
She was staring so intensely at him, 'then why did he not look for me? ,why did he have to lie to me. If I had a daughter and she was in the same state as me..i would look for her'.
Jaden hugged her tight ,' you know the first day I met you I fell in love with you immediately,  Amanda oh are the Sweetest little girl in the world and if no one can see that then they don't deserve you.' He raised her up to her feet.' No one deserves to see you cry ..no one Okay?'
She nodded her head hugging him back.
' I love you and your mommy too, she has been worried sick about you. Promise me you won't ever feel bad about this again.'
'I promise '.
'Good '. He kissed her cheeks and turned to leave the room.
'Daddy...thank you for taking care of I and mommy . I love you so much. '
His heart melted , 'i love you too baby girl. '

Hey guys..thanks so much for sticking with me through this book...
I'm really busy with planning to open my Clothing line this year and there is a lot to do...
💖
Ps: my younger cousins birthday is today...
Cake party!!!!📣📣📣